


Is Someone Getting The Best, The Best, The Best, The Best Of You?

by itcanprobablysmellfear



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora is a sweet precious angel, Angst, Catra does a lot of thinking, Catra isn't good with emotions, Chapter three is between S5E06 and S5E08, Chipped Catra (She-Ra), F/F, Face-Fucking, First Time, HMMMMM?????, I know what y'all are here for, Like so much angst, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Canon, Sleepovers, Takes place during S5E03, Why did Catra blush when she talked about sleepovers?, angst like just so much angst, catra has a lot of feelings, chapter four is post season 5, chapter two is between S5E03 and S5E05, lots of love, smut is in chapters 1 and 4, super sweet and super emotional, what happened between corridors and save the cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25034335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itcanprobablysmellfear/pseuds/itcanprobablysmellfear
Summary: “We used to have those.”“What?”“Sleepovers…me and Adora, when we were cadets in the Horde. We’d play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about…you know, whatever.”
Relationships: Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 128
Kudos: 601





	1. Are You Gone And Onto Someone New?

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Write two stories at the same time. You'll have twice the art out there. It'll be great. You can totally do this.
> 
> Also Me: Totally can't do this. Totally gets distracted. Totally takes twice as long to get one work out. 
> 
> Me: Insert shocked Pikachu face.
> 
> GOOD MORNING FRIENDS! (It's morning when I'm posting this) It's your friendly neighborhood angsty bitchy, coming at cha with some more of these two. I'm sensing a pattern with my writing: it seems to go angsty fic, nice fic. This is an angsty fic. Your daily serving of angsty, angsty smut, if you will. So I think in an interview Noelle said the blushes in S5 were all VERY intentional, and did y'all notice Catra's blush when she was talking to Glimmer about sleepovers? What could that be I WONDER HMMM?? This is what I think happened. The ending is based on a tumblr post I read (if I can figure out how to link it on here I will, I'm bad at technology) on a hot take that Catra suspected Adora and Glimmer were an item, and so she thought, when she was sending Glimmer to Adora, she was giving Adora back her girlfriend. And damn do I live for hot takes like that. Enjoy! 
> 
> Title is from "Best of You" by The Foo Fighters (because I am incapable of 1) not naming stories after songs, and 2) not naming stories after ridiculously long lines in songs that speak to the dark parts of my evil little soul)
> 
> NOTE: Both characters are 18+

_Click_

_Click_

_Click_

The sound of Catra’s nails rattled across the long empty corridors she currently paced in, the echoes reminding her just how alone she was aboard this awful ship. Well, alone, except for…except for Glimmer. _It’s about time I start using her name_ , Catra thought to herself, _with whatever time we have left._ It was so very easy, easier then breathing, to lie to the queen about the security of the feline’s position in Prime’s forces. Falsehoods and deceptions were lessons Catra learned before she even fully grasped the concept of speech. Shadow Weaver’s fury was brutal and terrifying, her disappointment blistering and ruthless. It didn’t take many _incidents_ , as the sorceress had delicately put it, each syllable dripping like poison from behind her mask, for Catra to get the hang of deceit. Distractions, bluffing, poker face, misdirection; all were as familiar as the back of her hand. She could do it without thinking, especially to someone as trusting as she was sparkly.

But to herself? Here? Alone? Even Catra wasn’t _that_ good. She could never lie to herself. It hadn’t been a problem back on Etheria when she was effectively running the Horde. There were always so many distractions. As second-in-command, she had cadets to boss around, battle plans to draw up, Hordak to keep an eye on. There was always something for her to do. And if that meant surviving on practically no sleep, then all the better for her. No time to sleep meant no time to herself, to be quiet in the dark with nothing but her thoughts to warm her empty bed.

Catra slumped against a wall and slid down to sit on the floor, cold metal pressing against her spine. Now, though, here in this empty ship filled with empty men flying through empty space, she had nothing to do _but_ think. She could always try to coax more information out of Glimmer, but that was only delaying the inevitable. If she was going to be honest with herself, she knew she wasn’t going to get out of this alive. There was no long con with Horde Prime, no honeyed words or bold claims she could play as collateral against her worth. If she played her cards right, maybe she could buy them a little more time, even get the pink-haired woman out. She had followed a pair of clones to some kind of teleportation chamber, watched as one plugged in coordinates that sent the other off to some planet eons away from their current location. Catra felt the stirrings of a plan in the back of her brain. It needed more consideration, a touch more calculation, before it could come to fruition.

Catra leaned her head against the wall behind her and let her eyes drift. Across from her position was a large window, and through it she could watch the planet they were flying over, its skies swirling with orange storm clouds. Occasionally, bright flashes accompanied by large mushroom clouds of smoke would disturb the gentle swirling, marring its lovely surface with the indications of war. Another rebellion, perhaps, hundreds of miles away, slowly and inexorably being crushed under Lord Prime’s will. _It’s hopeless, all of it_ , Catra thought. Glimmer’s Princess Alliance was weak against Prime. They didn’t stand a chance, not even with—no, no Catra wouldn’t think about her here. She clutched her hands to her ears, shaking her head violently, tail thrashing. A face swam before her mind’s eye, kind eyes framed by golden locks, out of focus at first, but drawing clearer with every heartbeat. She ran her fingers through her hair, tugging and pulling at the strands, as if she could rip the woman’s presence from her very consciousness.

Unbidden, a conversation began to play out, accompanying the blonde vision that threatened to overtake Catra’s sanity. It was a recent one she had with Glimmer, back to back, both locked in cages, although only the pink-haired woman’s was visible.

_“We used to have those."_

_“What?”_

_“Sleepovers…me and Adora, when we were cadets in the Horde. We’d play tricks on Kyle, stay up all night whispering about…you know, whatever.”_

Just like it had happened then, a blush rose high on Catra’s cheeks. She pressed her palms to her face, obscuring the color, willing it to go away. She didn’t want to think about Adora. She didn’t want to think about teasing and whispering and everything that happened between them during their last sleepover. But she didn’t have a choice. She never did when it came to Adora. It didn’t matter that the woman wasn’t in the spaceship with her; even in her memories she commanded a physical presence, demanding and receiving everything Catra had to offer. She was so very tired of fighting, especially now. With a sigh, she untangled her hair from her clenched fists and relaxed her shoulders, head tipping down to her chest. “Adora,” she whispered, a single tear making its way down her cheek before she quietly surrendered to the memory rumbling under the surface of her restraint.

~***~

It had been a rare day for the Horde cadets. Not only were they conducting drills and training outside, but, even rarer still, the smog that typically covered the Fright Zone had broken enough for the sky to be visible. Catra could actually feel the sun on her shoulders, and it was positively delicious. During a brief rest to catch her breath, she closed her eyes and tipped her head back, bathing in the warmth that kissed her skin. What she wouldn’t give to feel this every day.

Panting accompanied by heavy footfalls approached behind her, breaking Catra’s reverie, and she opened her eyes to find Adora pulling up next to her. The blonde’s eyes were sparkling, and her face was flushed, from the exercise or the sun, Catra couldn’t tell. Her mouth was wide open, taking gasping breaths. Catra’s mind went blank for a moment, buzzing filling her ears, and despite watching her friend’s lips move, she didn’t realize Adora had asked her a question until said lips quirked into a teasing grin. “You say something?” the Magicat drawled, hoping Adora couldn’t hear her inexplicably increased heart rate.

“ _I said,_ isn’t this gorgeous?” Adora asked, throwing her arms out to encompass the sunshine.

Catra shrugged, nonchalant as always. “I guess. If you like this sort of thing.”

Adora’s grin widened, and she leaned closer conspiratorially. Her breath tickled Catra’s ear, and it was all she could do not to shiver. What was wrong with her today? It had to be like a thousand degrees out here. “We should sneak out tonight, after curfew,” Adora whispered excitedly. “Like we did as kids, remember? I bet the sky will still be clear. Maybe we could even see the moons!” She scrunched her face up, absolutely radiant with anticipation.

Catra smiled back at the blonde. She couldn’t say no to Adora, especially when she was like this. Besides, she enjoyed these late night rendezvous. The last time they could actually see beyond the haze had been years ago, yet Catra still remembered the feeling seeing the night sky had inspired within her. The thought that there was more to her life then the daily grind in the Horde, that there was more out there, that she could be more. It was getting harder to remember, especially on the bad days. Days when the cadets were pushed and pushed and pushed, Catra more then anyone else, and still Shadow Weaver was disappointed. Sometimes the sorceress would express her frustration with words, sometimes with magic. Sometimes it would be out in front of the other soldiers, other times in the privacy of the older woman’s room. The worst was when Shadow Weaver would call Adora in to witness the Magicat’s punishment. “This is what happens when you don’t _control her_ ,” the words filtering their way into Catra’s ears through the obfuscation of darkness and pain. 

Catra grimaced, returning to herself with an agitated flick of her tail. “Why not,” she drawled. “Better then sitting around, listening to Kyle snore.”

“Hey! I do not snore!” The skinny boy tripped past them, scowling in Catra’s direction. She snarled back, and with a squeak he scrambled past.

Adora chuckled, leaning her shoulder into Catra’s while butterflies erupted in the latter’s stomach. _Ew, gross_ , she told the butterflies. _It’s cause she’s all sweaty and smelly. No other reason._ She shoved the blonde off of her. “You have _got_ to shower first though!” With further giggling and pushing, they completed the day’s training and headed back inside to wash up, eat, and wait until lights out to make their escape.

It was several hours later when the door to the highest landing in the Fright Zone burst open, divulging two laughing cadets. Adora closed the door and leaned against it, wheezing. “Oh I thought for sure that last robot was going to get us!”

Catra snorted. “And break my streak? Adora, I have _yet_ to see one of those hulking monstrosities actually catch someone, and I do not intend on being the first.” Adora rolled her eyes, offering a very sarcastic smattering of applause. Catra bowed all the same. Praise was praise, and she definitely deserved more of it. It wasn’t easy to sneak around when your partner was the polar opposite of “stealthy.”

Catra sauntered over to the edge of the balcony, sinking down on her crossed legs, arms and chin resting on the handrails. Lacking a single shred of grace, Adora unceremoniously plopped herself down to Catra’s right, legs dangling over the edge. With a contented sigh the blonde leaned back, sprawling on the floor to look up at the sky. She had been right; the smog had stayed away, and the night was clearer then anything Catra could have imagined. She met her friend on the floor, cupping her hands behind her head and swinging her legs to join Adora’s. Her tail curled and uncurled beside her as her toes flexed in the free air, willing herself to settle.

Several minutes passed in silence as the two young women gazed together at the sky, the low drone of machinery occasionally punctuating the stillness. Despite her best efforts to become entranced by the moons or whatever bullshit Adora was probably thinking about, Catra was very aware of just how close the blonde was to her. Her ears twitched at every awed sound Adora uttered, her body tensed with every adjustment Adora made in her position. Wasn’t this supposed to be relaxing, or at the very least enjoyable? She was pretty sure her heart was going to burst from her chest before the hour was out when a gentle tap against her foot broke her from her silent panic.

“Hey, Catra,” Adora’s voice sounded nervous. “Thanks for coming out here with me. For, well, always coming out here with me, for always agreeing to whatever weird thing I set my mind on. I know it’s…bizarre, me wanting to come out here to look up at…nothing.” Catra felt her shrug, her left shoulder brushing up against the feline’s right elbow. “But…I dunno…it grounds me, you know? Helps me realize there’s more to life, to all this then the Horde and Shadow Weaver and Hordak and…and us.” Her voice stuttered a bit towards the end, an anxious smile bleeding through her words.

Catra had been resolutely staring up, to her left, at her own nose, anywhere but Adora. The butterflies from earlier took up permanent residence somewhere around her spleen, and decided to throw a rave in her stomach at Adora’s words. She could hardly breathe around all their flapping about, let alone think, but Adora’s voice still managed to slip through—“Catra?”—and, like it was instinct, she finally turned to meet her friend’s gaze. Her heart stuttered, and for a moment Catra forgot how to breathe.

Adora had taken down her ponytail to lie fully flush on the ground, no knobby protrusion preventing maximum comfort. Her long bangs almost-but-not-quite brushed into her eyes, and gave the normally fiery blues such a sweet tenderness that Catra was overwhelmed. Her cheeks were flushed the same exquisite red from earlier, but now there was nothing external Catra could blame the color on. A single word throbbed painfully in her heart, coursing through her veins with a blistering ache that threatened to consume her with its volume. _Soft._

Catra wrinkled her nose at the descriptor. Soft was such an ugly phrase in the Horde, a humiliating epithet one would fling at a defeated enemy cowering at your feet or whisper behind your hand about a hated foe. In a society that valued strength and ferocity above all else, Catra could think of no lower term to call someone. So why was she thinking it now, using it to describe her best friend, someone on the fast track to Force Captain and the furthest from the expression a person could be?

But that’s because Adora _was_ soft, Catra decided as her eyes traced the panels of the blonde’s face. How else would you describe the curve of her blushing cheeks, the Cupid’s bow of her distractingly pink lips? Yes, she had a sharp jaw and broad shoulders and a strong right hook, but it didn’t mean that the two diametric forces were mutually exclusive. What would it feel like, she wondered, to indulge in that softness? Very, very slowly, Catra unlatched her hand from behind her head and extended her arm, pausing just before her palm could touch Adora’s face. She could feel the heat radiating from Adora’s skin through her fingertips.

Minutes passed, and still Catra didn’t touch Adora. What would happen when she did? Study your enemy, know your opponent inside and out, the Horde taught them. Be able to predict their next move before they’ve even made it, and then they could be defeated. But Adora wasn’t her enemy, and they certainly weren’t battling. How could she calculate her friend’s next move when Catra didn’t have any clue what she herself was doing? All she knew was who and what they were now; whatever came next was new and mysterious, and that terrified her. Catra was very good at running from what scared her, and began to pull her hand back. And that’s when Adora surged forward and pressed her cheek into the Magicat’s palm.

They both gasped when skin met skin, eyes wide at Adora’s boldness. The blonde’s flush deepened, and she smiled shyly. “You…you were pulling away,” she said quietly. “I want you to touch me.”

Catra blinked once, twice, slowly, and when her voice came out, it was deeper then she intended. “What else do you want me to do?” Adora’s breath hitched in her throat, and she slowly turned her head, ocean eyes never breaking contact with blue and gold as she slid her lips into Catra’s hand and kissed her palm. A moan slipped from the feline’s mouth, and Adora’s eyes darkened at the sound.

“I want…I want you to k-kiss me.”

Without removing her touch from Adora’s cheek, Catra rolled to her side, using her tail as leverage to prop herself up on her elbow so she could gaze down on the blonde. “Where?” she whispered, leaning over and taking Adora’s right hand into her own to bring it up to her lips. She kissed each fingertip. “Here?” Adora shook her head, eyes wide and barely breathing. Catra moved her mouth down to press her lips to the tender flesh of Adora’s wrist. She could feel a pulse bounding beneath the delicate flesh, and dragged her teeth lightly over the spot.

“Ca-Catra!” Adora gasped, and she arched forward, eyes slamming shut. She bit her lip, trying to cage any further sounds back in her chest. Whether it was the noise or the action or both, the anxious trembling in Catra’s stomach took a rapid dive, gaining in heat the further south it traveled, until it felt like there were live coals burning her from the inside between her legs. It felt _wonderful_. She didn’t want it to stop, and she never wanted Adora to stop saying her name like that. Catra released Adora’s wrist, and traveled to the base of her neck, weaving her fingers in the golden strands. She leaned heavily on her friend, her body alighting at every point her and Adora pressed together. The blonde drew closer, hands scrambling at Catra’s waist and shoulder, panting heavily.

“Again,” split eyes bore into ocean. “Say my name like that again.”

Adora swallowed, and before she could utter the two syllables again, Catra descended, all lips and teeth and tongue, upon the other woman’s neck. She could taste her name as it poured out of Adora’s throat. Her hand on Catra’s hip was iron, clawing at the fabric of her clothing, searching desperately for something Catra didn’t know to name. Adora, though, apparently had a better vocabulary then she did, because the hand on her shoulder moved lightening fast to her jaw, forcing her face up level to the blonde’s. The only prelude Catra received was a ragged breath, drawn in by Adora like a drowning man tasting air for the first time, before their lips crashed together.

As far as first kisses go, there have been plenty of others that were gentler, sweeter, certainly more skillful. But how many of the parties involved could boast that their kisses were needed, that they were the last vestiges between life and death for two people? Catra, despite not knowing what was going to happen in the heartbeat before Adora’s mouth was on hers, was now certain of the fact that she could not have existed past this moment in time if Adora hadn’t kissed her. Maybe she would have died, her heart expiring and her body crumpling onto the dirty iron floor of this secluded balcony. Or, perhaps, something less dramatic…simply ceasing to be was another option. Just, poof! No more Catra!

Thankfully, Catra didn’t have to worry about that ever again, because Adora was kissing her, right at this very moment, and dear gods she had never felt bliss like this before. _Soft_ echoed around again in whatever parts of her brain weren’t currently absorbed in the task at hand, and she had to smile. Even in her most embarrassing dreams, she couldn’t have imagined how soft Adora’s lips were. They were hot and wet against her own, dizzying in their movement and intoxicating in their taste. Adora relaxed her mouth and took Catra’s bottom lip between her teeth, gently tugging while lavishing it with her tongue. The Magicat whined, grinding herself against the blonde, shocked at the needy sounds spilling from her chest. Adora grinned against her, and before she could register what was happening, Catra was on her back, Adora’s hands fisted in her wild hair to prevent her from cracking her head on the floor.

If Catra was asked earlier today what she thought the most beautiful sight in Etheria was, the answer would have been a prompt “fuck off.” Secretly though, her answer would have been Adora, asleep on the bunk beneath her, hair fanned out on her pillow, hands curled under one cheek. Five minutes ago, the answer changed. It became Adora underneath her, bangs in her eyes, gasping her name. But for the second time today, Catra had a new answer. It was now Adora, above her, kiss-swollen lips hovering inches above her own, locks tumbling over her shoulders, every inch of her body touching Catra’s. The feline took a deep inhale, and felt her brain short circuit when her chest brushed Adora’s. Blue eyes met split, and they were kissing again. This time, Catra fought to control the pace, shoving her tongue into Adora’s mouth before her friend could take over. One part of Catra hated how desperate she felt. Needing someone, relying on someone, was a sign of weakness. It meant she was vulnerable. She couldn’t always depend on Adora to save the day, because Adora wasn’t always around. In their occasional moments of separation, other soldiers, or worse, Shadow Weaver, would seek her out for sport or punishment. Tormenting her was just a game to all of them. No one ever saw her as worthy of anything; at best she was a plaything, at worst a distraction. Even Adora thought she was fragile, if the way her hands cradled Catra’s face was any indication. Catra would never amount to anything, they all said, but that just fueled her determination. She _wasn’t_ weak, and she _didn’t_ need anything or anyone to see her wishes fulfilled.

But a second part of Catra whispered back to the first…was it really so bad to want the touch of another person, especially one so lovely and kind as Adora? Was it really so awful to be made liquid and pliable in the arms of the woman she had adored since she first saw her face? Catra ran her hands down Adora’s back, marveling at the muscle rippling beneath her shirt. Catra opened her lips wider, accepting Adora’s sweet taste on her tongue. For now, at least, Catra allowed the latter voice to drown out the former. There was too much anger in those thoughts for the moment at hand. It can be a problem for future Adora and Catra.

The current problem was that there were far too many clothes between the two women for their liking. Adora’s hands scrambled at the zipper of Catra’s jumpsuit while the Magicat tugged at the blonde’s top. Neither wanted to surrender to the other, both fighting desperately to win at some unspoken game: whoever gets the other naked first wins. But both were steadily losing ground to their libido, and it became a matter of which sin would claim victory: pride, or lust? Finally, it didn’t matter whose shirt was off first, just that the article of clothing was, indeed, _off,_ and they could properly take in one another.

They were both sitting up, having drifted a few feet apart in their haste to rid themselves of their attire, and took a few moments to just stare at one another in the moonlight. The barracks didn’t exactly offer a lot of privacy, so it wasn’t like Catra was witnessing something new. She’d walked in on Adora changing multiple times, and Adora her, but she’d never allowed herself more then the briefest of double takes before shutting her eyes to her friend’s decency, stomach twisting with the secret knowledge of creamy skin and flashes of pink. Now, at last, she got look her fill. Adora’s shoulders and arms were bound with muscle, the curves starkly illuminated in the dim glow. Her breasts were round and full, noticeably bigger then Catra’s, with rosy nipples that made Catra’s mouth water to think of having them in her mouth. Her eyes were just beginning to roam the delectable planes of Adora’s six-pack when she was interrupted.

“I can’t,” Adora croaked out, staring down at Catra’s chest. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve wanted this.” She inched forward until her knees were touching Catra’s. “How much I’ve wanted to be like this with you.” Catra gasped as she felt Adora’s hand at her bare side, gently sliding up until it was along her ribcage. “How much I’ve wanted to touch you.” Her knuckles began to trace Catra’s breast, either too scared or too considerate to proceed forward without explicit permission.

Catra huffed out a chuckle and rolled her eyes. “Idiot,” she teased. She couldn’t muster out much more at this point; the smoldering between her legs was reaching a fever pitch and needed to be addressed before she simply imploded. By way of consent, she took the meandering hand and placed it palm open atop her tit, leaning into the touch. Catra closed her eyes briefly to enjoy the sensation before looking at Adora, raising her hand and eyebrow in question. “C-can I?”

“Gods, _please,_ Catra!” And then they were against each other again. Adora squeezed the flesh in her palm and wrapped her other hand around the back of Catra’s head to anchor their lips together. Catra took the opportunity to take hold of both of Adora’s breasts, kneading the heavy flesh until the blonde was spewing desperate cries into her mouth. The Magicat grinned against the kisses; how many times had she dreamed of making Adora howl exactly like this? She focused her attention on velvety nipples, increasing her caresses from gentle pinches to rough pulls until they became hard and pebbled under her fingertips. Adora threw her head back, biting her lower lip to stifle the filthy noises Catra drew from her.

Catra latched her mouth against Adora’s neck, sucking and biting while refusing to relent her ministrations on the blonde’s tits. Catra didn’t think Adora’s noises could get any dirtier, but then she began to travel south, and as she trailed her lips over her friend’s collarbones and the valley between her breasts, it seemed like Adora was just trying to prove Catra wrong. By the time she dragged her tongue over one attention-reddened nipple, Adora had worked herself into near-silence, so worn down and pliant that all that she could emit were high-pitched, breathy whimpers that fanned the heat between Catra’s legs into a full blown wildfire. She growled around her mouthful, her need for Adora turning animalistic; it definitely didn’t help that Adora took that moment to shove Catra’s face into her chest and arch her back, practically smothering the Magicat. It wouldn’t have been a bad way to die, Catra pondered as she worked her way over to the other breast.

Adora took that opportunity to shift her body, readjusting her position to get closer so that there wasn’t any space between their heaving forms. This brought her knee in close proximity to Catra’s aching core, and the second it made contact, she felt the that world had collapsed, fallen apart, condensing itself into a single point between her legs. Her mouth slid open, releasing Adora’s nipple with a pop and uttering a desperate, pathetic whine. Catra had never heard herself make such an embarrassing sound before, but then Adora ground her knee against the space again, and Catra lost the brainpower to feel self-conscious. She leaned her forehead against Adora’s chest, hips thrusting into the sweet friction, feeling Adora’s gasp in response to her action. She felt Adora move quickly in her embrace, arms scrambling to grab and arrange something behind the feline. Eyes half closed with lust, Catra looked behind her to see Adora’s shirt and jacket spread out behind her, and felt an odd tightness in her chest that had nothing to do with the blonde’s hand still on her breast. She turned back to face Adora, one eyebrow raised.

The blonde, already flushed, turned an even darker shade of red. “The floor is dirty, and hard,” she muttered, averting her gaze. “I want you to be comfortable.”

Catra pulled Adora to her, kissing her so she wouldn’t see the tears prickling at the corners of her mismatched eyes. It was just like Adora, in the heat of desire, to have the mental wherewithal to consider her partner’s physical wellbeing. When Catra had fantasized hooking up with the other woman, when she could carve out five minutes of privacy in a secret part of the Fright Zone to be alone with her fingers and her imagination, she never envisioned she would be so _nice._ Catra’s heart constricted and she felt heat pricking at the corners of her eyes. _I think I’m falling in love with you._ She squeezed her eyes shut and kissed Adora harder. _Please don’t break my heart_ , she prayed. _I don’t think I will survive if you do._

Adora’s hands wandered down to the rest of Catra’s jumpsuit, the top still bunched around her hips. “Lay down,” she breathed against the Magicat’s lips, grabbing onto the fabric. “Let me take these off. Please.”

Catra tipped back, heart pounding in her ears and between her legs as she shimmied out of her clothes. Adora’s eyes went wide as she took in the sight of the naked woman in front of her. She trailed her hands over Catra’s bare thighs, gently dragging her blunt nails over the exposed skin. Catra shivered, rolling her hips anytime Adora came close to her aching core. She opened her eyes and spied the blonde’s face above her, a smug grin plastered on her face as she took in how wet the woman beneath her already was. Catra groaned, the sound coming out more pleasurable then she had initially intended. “Shut up,” she growled.

Adora’s smile grew wider and, if possible, even more cocky. She adjusted her position, lying on her stomach between Catra’s legs, the Magicat’s knees bracketing her head. “What?” She teased, breath ghosting against Catra’s labia. “I haven’t said anything.”

Catra bit her lip, fighting against the moan building in her throat. “You haven’t—mmm! You haven’t done anything to earn that…that stupid look on your face.” She gasped as Adora delicately blew against her wetness. “This isn’t—ah—this isn’t because I like you!”

The blonde chuckled, and the vibrations sent Catra into another plane of existence. “Is that so? Well, why don’t I do something about that?”

The words were on Catra’s lips, “I’d like to see you try” when suddenly Adora’s mouth was on her, and Catra found speech impossible.

Many years previously, when Catra could count her age on one hand, the Horde executed a massively successful raid against a Rebellion town and returned, cheering, with the spoils hoisted above their shoulders. Catra remembered watching the procession, up on her tiptoes and nose pressed against the window, marveling at wondrous things the soldiers carried in. She had never imagined colors so bright before. “Catra!” A voice echoed down the hall. “Catra! Look what Shadow Weaver gave me!” The feline turned to see Adora skipping up to her, something bright and shiny clutched in her chubby fist. She skidded to a halt and proudly presented the object for the Magicat’s inspection. “She called it can-dee? I’m not supposed to share it with anyone, but...” and, ripping open the packaging, she broke it in two between her hands and extended one half. A secretive smile split over her mischievous face. “Wanna share?” Whatever this foreign food was, it smelled incredible to the tiny girl. The only delicacies the Horde kitchens had to offer were protein bars, blue typically, gray for extra special occasions. Catra licked her lips, and glancing up at the joyful blonde, opened her mouth and took a bite. She was immediately hit by the taste, feeling like a scouting bot had just run her over. The saccharine flavor exploded over her tongue, tickling up her nose and across the soft inside of her cheeks. She swallowed, and it tumbled down her throat and warmed her stomach before sending thousands of tiny shockwaves to her fingers and toes. She gasped, grinning at Adora.

It was back, that same feeling from so long ago of overwhelming sweetness that threatened to burst inside her like rotten fruit. From the first touch of Adora’s tongue on her clit, Catra’s mouth flooded with the taste, the syrupy sensation coursing through her bloodstream before collecting at the apex of her thighs at the exact spot where Adora’s lips latched on. Catra exhaled, one hand fisting in the golden locks, the other grabbing at her own breast, squeezing aggressively. Adora’s mouth was incredibly warm upon her, the temperature matching the fire the blonde was stoking within her. It was bliss. It was heaven.

Adora started gently, slowly dragging her tongue between Catra’s labia and finishing at her clit, swirling the aching nub with lazy circles. The pressure, far too much and yet not nearly enough, flirted with the feline’s sanity. Her back arched, pushing her body away from the ground and her core closer to the mouth that drove her nearer and nearer to oblivion. Catra pulled Adora’s hair, voice failing her, attempting to convey with tugs her need for _more_. Adora met her request enthusiastically, increasing her pace, tongue pushing past Catra’s swollen lower lips and entering her soaking core, her nose rubbing up against the bundle of nerves. Catra ground her hips down in response, the friction driving her wild. She squeezed her legs together, anchoring Adora to her as she began fucking the other woman’s face.

Adora wrapped her arms around the tops of Catra’s thighs, gently massaging the flesh beneath her fingertips. “Catra,” she moaned, “Catra, you’re so beautiful.” Adora took her clit in her mouth, sucking on the spot, her tongue dancing over its surface until the Magicat saw stars. Catra almost burst at the attention, a dry sob escaping her mouth that turned into a pathetic whimper when the blonde hummed against her.

“Ah-Adora!” Catra cried when Adora’s tongue hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her. The woman paused, looking up with concern on her face. “Please…right there. Again…p-please, Adora.” Catra lifted her head, blue and gold eyes plaintively seeking ocean pools.

At the sound of her name poured out so lewdly, Adora’s eyes slammed shut, her breath stuttering out of her chest. Catra worried for a brief moment that she broke the blonde when she dove back down, lips and tongue renewing their onslaught on Catra’s pussy. She would have screamed, in fact almost did, if she hadn’t remembered just how very precarious their location was. It was a miracle they hadn’t been discovered yet, and so Catra offered up a brief prayer of thanks to whoever or whatever was watching. _Pervs_ , chuckled to herself, but then Adora applied her teeth to Catra’s clit, and thought followed the way of words, both becoming utterly impossible under Adora’s lovemaking.

Adora tightened her grip on Catra’s legs, so hard that the Magicat swore she would have bruises the next day, squeezing and pinching in time to her tongue pressing against Catra’s core. She hoped she would, the thought of dark blemishes littering her thighs and marking her as Adora’s coursing another wave of arousal between her legs. With every lavish, Catra felt herself getting closer and closer to the edge. She thrilled at the prospect that it was _Adora_ who was bringing her to that high, that it would be _Adora_ who would bring her to the top and cast her over. In her lustful haze, Catra called out the other woman’s name, fervently, worshipfully, like she could convey everything she felt in just those three syllables.

Catra heard Adora cry out at the reverent chanting of her name, felt as the blonde shifted to put her weight on her left elbow, her right arm releasing Catra’s leg to snake down between her own legs. Catra gazed on as Adora desperately undid her pants and shoved the fabric down, plunging her fingers into her own pussy with a look of concentrated determination. She glanced up, seeing Catra watch her fuck herself, and her blue eyes grew hazy. “Say it again,” she commanded, out of breath. Catra saw her wetness smeared against Adora’s lips and chin, glittering in the moonlight, as the woman bent down once more to her pussy. “Say my name again.”

It wasn’t like Catra could ever say no to Adora. “Adora,” she sang as the blonde lapped her tongue against Catra’s clit. “Adora,” She moaned as the fever pitch between her legs reached a crescendo that drowned out everything that wasn’t Adora and her lips and her tongue. And it was a final “Adora!” that she cried when a white hot sweetness overtook her body, causing her hips to thrash and her chest to heave until she felt adrift in an ocean of mind-numbing bliss. Dimly, in the furthest reaches of space her mind floated in, she was aware of Adora further south, her arm pumping furiously until, just a few moments after Catra, the woman joined her, happily gasping out the Magicat’s name in time with her body’s stuttering.

The two lay entwined for several minutes as they processed the peaceful aftershock of their orgasms, Adora’s arms curled around Catra’s hips, Catra’s fingers lightly caressing Adora’s scalp. Catra tipped her head back and observed the sky again, finally able to focus on the original object of their midnight quest. Adora hummed into Catra’s stomach, lightly tracing patterns against the firm planes. Maybe…maybe _this_ was what it was all about? Maybe there was nothing more or less to life then to simply exist in the arms of someone you love and watch the night go by, and maybe Catra was okay with that. Several minutes passed like this, Catra stroking Adora’s hair, Adora rubbing Catra’s stomach, nothing to break the calm but the low rumble of a purr coming deep from Catra’s chest. All was well.

And then it wasn’t. Deep beneath her stillness, Catra could feel some anxiety brewing, angry words cresting her peace like white caps on a thunderous sea. The first voice from before returned, soft at first but growing louder with every heartbeat, throwing hateful things like _weak_ and _vulnerable_ and _worthless_ in her head until she was drowning in the panic. _Just a little while longer_ , she screwed her eyes shut, hand spasming in Adora’s hair. _Please. Just a few more minutes._

“Catra? Catra, what’s wrong?”

Wild, mismatched eyes slammed open, and with a shock, Catra came back to herself and realized that she was naked, and that Adora was shirtless. Her hands flew to her chest, face burning with shame. _What would everyone think if they saw me like this? I’m weak, so weak, just like they said I was. What will they do to me?_ Terror turned her blood to ice as the next thought burst forth. _What will Shadow Weaver do to me?_

And just like that, it was as if the sorceress was there in front of the exposed Magicat, even though she was alone on the balcony but for Adora. She curled in on herself, tail wrapping tightly around her knees as she rocked back and forth, the magician’s imagined words thundering in Catra’s mind. _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?_ The vision screamed. _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ADORA, YOU DISGUSTING ANIMAL?! YOU’VE CORRUPTED HER, POISONED HER! YOU’VE-YOU’VE RUINED HER, JUST LIKE YOU’VE RUINED YOURSELF!_ Tears streamed from her eyes as she shook, her face covered with her trembling hands. “I’m, I’m so sorry!” She hiccupped, hardly realizing she was speaking. “What have I done? Gods, I’m so sorry!”

“Catra?” A gentle hand squeezed her shoulder. Catra spasmed at the contact, flinging herself away and almost over the edge of the landing, eyes darting wildly about.

It was Adora, still kneeling, hand still outstretched in a comforting gesture. Adora, still topless, her nipples hard and her chest covered with red bite marks. Catra’s bite marks. Catra cried out at the sight, gripping her hair as she turned her face away and screwing her eyes shut. “What did I do to you?!” Her voice sounded shrill and unhinged. She tugged on her unruly mane, the pain grounding her as self-loathing flooded every molecule of her body. “I’m-I’m so sorry!”

“Catra, why are you apologizing?” Adora tried to chuckle, but it sounded strained. “I asked for this, I really enjoyed it!” Catra heard her swallow. “Did…did you not like it?”

“I loved it!” Catra sobbed. “I love—” but no, she couldn’t ever tell Adora. She wasn’t someone who got to have nice things in life. She didn’t deserve to love Adora, to be loved in return, especially now. Shadow Weaver was right—she was nothing more then a disgusting animal. “We should never have come up here!” She scrambled to her feet, almost tripping as she grabbed her jumpsuit and struggled to put it on.

“No, Catra! Wait! Don’t go, please don’t leave!” The blonde’s cries echoed in her ears as the feline sprinted away, blindly racing through dark corridors as tears poured unabated from her mismatched eyes and self-hatred welled in her chest. Catra was always good at running away. Only when she was sure Adora—or anyone else—couldn't find her did Catra sink to her knees, surrendering fully to her anguish. She had ruined everything: Adora, their friendship, any possible future they had together. Why was she so stupid? Why did she let her emotions get the best of her, control her like she was some spineless, base animal? Whatever respect Adora had for her, it was all gone now; who could love a foolish creature like her? She curled in on herself, tail wrapping around her waist and hands gripping her elbows, rocking herself into a mournful oblivion with nothing but the ghost of Adora’s lips on her skin to keep her company.

Daylight had just begun to creep into the Fright Zone when Catra crawled into her own bed, eyes puffy and swollen. She hesitated just a moment, gaze drifting to the blonde slumbering fitfully in the cot beneath hers. Catra could just make out a small furrow between Adora’ eyebrows, and felt her stomach twist in distress again. Was Adora dreaming about her, worrying about her? She twisted away, face still colored with shame. “Just forget it, Adora,” she whispered into her pillow. It was a full month before Catra would talk to Adora, two before the Magicat smiled, a staggering four before she would tease the young woman about her overachieving nature and pathological need to win and Catra allowed herself to hope that things would go back to normal between them. But then Adora got promoted to Force Captain, and the first night Catra spent curled at the foot of the blonde’s bed again ended up becoming the last.

~***~

With a deep breath Catra surfaced from the memory, fingers shaking as she touched fresh tears on her cheeks. She buried her face in her hands. _Adora_ , she called out in her heart. _Adora, I’m so sorry. I fucked up so bad. You deserve someone good and whole, something I never could be._ Her face screwed up painfully at a sudden realization.

Glimmer.

Glimmer is good and whole. Glimmer loves Adora. Does…does Adora love Glimmer back? Catra’s mind whirled at the possibility, spinning back across the past three years to relieve every moment she witnessed between the two. Adora had gone to the Princess Prom as the then-princess’s plus one, but that couldn’t mean anything. Catra went with Scorpia...but didn’t Scorpia have a crush on Catra then? So couldn’t the same be said of…? And, and, the look on Adora’s face, when she saw Catra had kidnapped Glimmer! How heartbroken the blonde looked! And how determined Adora was to protect the tiny woman when Catra faced them both in the Fright Zone.

Catra clutched at her stomach, new tears springing to the corners of her eyes. She was so stupid. Of fucking course Adora loved Glimmer. The queen was beautiful, even Catra could admit that. Her hair and eyes twinkled like the stars Catra was becoming familiar with as they drifted through the cosmos. She was fierce and stubborn and so very brave, even in the monstrous face of Horde Prime. Catra barked a brief, humorless laugh. Gods, she could fall in love with Glimmer herself! Catra took several deep, steadying breaths before squaring her shoulders and launching forward, tail lashing behind her. It was finally time to do that one good thing in her life. _Don’t worry Adora,_ her heart beating with every word. _I’m sending your girlfriend back to you._


	2. Were You Born To Resist Or Be Abused?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prime was before her, facing the green pool, and she heard the cruel smile in his voice as he addressed her. 
> 
> “Well, my child.” He turned towards her, and the hand that traced her cheek frightened her in its gentleness. “This is where we say goodbye. When we meet again, you will be reborn, once more...” he bent down, and the faint trace of blood was on his breath too, “our little sister.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all!
> 
> So this originally started as just a one-shot smut drabble, and then like two people asked for a continuation, I decided to add on! It was only going to be three chapters...and then I got inspired. So everyone go yell at rokumonshi on tumblr, this chapter is LITERALLY all her fault.  
> https://rokumonshi.tumblr.com
> 
> Update! Bluefeathergirl helped me realize I was missing some MAJOR details in my fic (if we're considering "Don't Go" as canon, which, c'mon, we all are)! The additions are towards the end, between "All she craved was his voice and to be in his presence again" and "'Little Sister?' He filled her mind and she was awash with happiness." Please direct any and all complaints to BFG at https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluefeathergirl/pseuds/bluefeathergirl (and also go read her work its hot)

“Adora! I’m sorry! For everything!”

~***~

“Oh my child.” Cold, hard fingers grasped at her chin, yanking her face upwards into the harsh light of his gaze. “Everyone has a place in my empire...You will be of use to me yet.” The metal claw dragged down her cheek, and Catra felt a tiny drop of blood follow in its path.

 _Adora_.

Catra squeezed her eyes shut, her heart pounding thunderously in time with the clones’ chanting. It was beating out of her skin, the space between inside and out thinning with its every knock against her chest. _Let. Me. Out_ , it said with each pulse. Blue and gold cracked open, and over Prime’s shoulder she watched the ship, Adora’s ship, speed further away. _Let. Me. Out. Let. Me. Follow._ Did he hear it? Could he translate the throbbing into a language they both could understand? His hand slipped off her face, and for an ecstatic moment Catra thought he could, and had. She sat up straighter, tail twitching, pushing her chest closer to his murderous fingers. _Let. Me. Out._ Catra was bound, she couldn’t help free her heart, but maybe Prime could. _Do it,_ she prayed. _Open my chest. Carve out the foolish muscle. Let it leave my body behind. Adora. Adora, wait for my heart. It’s coming._

Catra closed her eyes again, fantasizing the end, but it was becoming harder to breathe. There was a coldness constricting her throat. Was her heart trying to fly through her mouth? Or was this Prime? Was this her end, kneeling on the floor, his metal fist around her neck, her last sight four malicious green eyes and a blip on a screen as an ancient vessel rushed through space, away from the Horde and away from her?

But there was the heavy stomp of boots around her, and Prime’s voice above and behind her. The ice at her throat eased, and Catra could breathe again. She took in deep, shivering gasps, trying to think around the buzzing in her ears. _No, this isn’t it. He’d want to do something loud, turn my death into a spectacle. The fucking drama queen!_ A hysterical laugh bubbled to her lips, and she almost missed his clipped command to the two clones that had dragged her to his podium earlier. They dug into her armpits and bodily lifted her into the air, refusing her even the basic decency of walking to her demise. She still dug her toes into the ground as they carried her, and felt giddy at the sight of the gouges her nails left in the floor. No way that would be an easy fix.

The feline glanced up at the men carrying her. Was one of these Hordak? The one to her left looked angrier then his partner, although, Catra supposed, it could be her imagination. What was he thinking right now, partaking in the final downfall of his enemy? Was he excited? He had tried to punish her before, but she’d come out on top, too clever and cunning for her banishment to the Crimson Waste. He had even tried to kill her for sending Entrapta to Beast Island, but again she’d bested him. Was he happy to be participating in her execution march? Or was he jealous that Prime, once again, was surpassing his every endeavor? Could he even feel such emotion now, or was it all gone?

The angle of her shoulders made it challenging for Catra to keep her head up, not to mention painful, so she stopped trying, allowing her chin to rest against her chest, her tail trailing limply on the floor. _This next part...it’s probably going to hurt_. Her lips went numb as she felt panic rise in her chest, her heart fluttering like a bird. _It’s coming soon. Wait for it. Wait for my heart, Adora._

The blonde woman’s face swam before her eyes, so much sharper then any of Catra’s earlier musings, her voice all the clearer from hearing it only so recently. How long had it been between sending off Glimmer and being brought before Prime? A few minutes? Half an hour at the longest. Catra savored the sound of her voice, a light smile curling across her face. How much sweeter her life will end, with Adora so fresh in her memory. _You wouldn’t begrudge a girl, Sparkles,_ Catra thought, _if she spent her last moments thinking about your girlfriend?_

It seemed easier to lie to herself now. Maybe Catra’s brain was softening, easing up on its onslaught of anger and hatred with its ending so few footsteps away. Or maybe Catra was getting better at lying? It didn’t matter how she got to this point, it only mattered that when sensation returned to her lips, it was to the ghost of Adora’s kissing her. The stony grips of the clones dragging her became Adora’s strong embrace, supporting her and drawing her closer. Her fingers, curled into the palms of her bound hands, became Adora’s, warm and calloused, lovingly threaded betwixt her own. Catra sighed, peaceful for the first time aboard this ship. _I’ll try to be brave, Adora. If I can be brave for you, will it be enough? Will you forgive me?_

So lost in the memory and phantom touches of her blonde warrior was Catra that she didn’t realize her macabre parade had halted. She was startled back to reality with a harsh blast of cold air to the face that, under the layers of disinfectant burning her nostrils, smelled faintly of blood. Her tail stiffened behind her. So this is where her end would be? _Goodbye, Adora. I’m sorry...I love you._

Catra lifted her gaze, and with a jolt to her stomach that sent it plummeting to the floor, she recognized where exactly the guards had dragged her. Her hackles rose, tail puffing up, and she couldn’t stop the faint tremors coursing over her form. They were back in the room Prime had shown her before, where Hordak was stripped of his identity. Again. The overlord called it purification through pain. He wasn’t going to execute her. He was going to _turn_ her, _use_ her.

Catra’s ears flattened against her skull. No, no this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen! Prime was supposed to kill her, make a spectacle of her, show the universe what happened to those who crossed the terrifying god. And then that would be it. All of her fury and agony, every wasted moment she spent screaming into the empty void where her soul should be, all of that would be gone. Catra had no idea what the next life would bring, but it had to be more peaceful then this. _Do I even deserve a peace?_ The clones roughly pulled her to her feet and she was allowed to stand. It was all the Magicat could do to remain upright. Prime was before her, facing the green pool, and she heard the cruel smile in his voice as he addressed her.

“Well, my child.” He turned towards her, and the hand that traced her cheek frightened her in its gentleness. “This is where we say goodbye. When we meet again, you will be _reborn_ , once more...” he bent down, and the faint trace of blood was on his breath too, “our little sister.” He framed her face with his palms and with a predatory leer removed her headpiece. Her wild hair tumbled into her face, obscuring all but his manic green eyes, gleaming in the alien lights of the room. “You have no need for a mask here anymore. You cannot hide your thoughts from me, and soon, you will no longer want to.” He barely flexed his fingers, and the thing shattered, disintegrating into dust at his feet. Catra blinked, a small tear leaking out of her blue eye. How much more of her was he going to strip away before she was forced to enter the pool?

Prime stalked in the direction of the green bath and with a shove between her shoulder blades, Catra was induced to follow. Her heart returned to her throat, and what had been weak shivers morphed into full-body quivering. Hordak’s screams rang in her ears as she recalled his ordeal, writhing and convulsing in the putrid liquid. She had thought for a moment that he had drowned, had hoped he had drowned, before he emerged, devoid of anything and everything that made him who he was, once again a puppet of Lord Prime. Like she would be, soon. 

_Maybe I’ll drown_ , Catra prayed as her footsteps echoed throughout the room. The walls were lined with countless clones, their empty eyes trained on her as she made her way to the edge. Never one to give any kind of authority what they wanted, even in the face of the ultimate punishment, Catra straightened her back and held her head high. She might be afraid, she might be quaking, but she would be damned before they would see her crumble. They were going to watch her, these pale imitations of their overlord, march proudly to her end, and the next time they spoke of her, her name would burn with fear on their tongues.

Catra reached the pool and stopped, toes dangling over the lip, bound hands clenched behind her back to lessen their shaking. She inhaled deeply through her nose, and it was all she could do not to gag on the fumes. A low rumble stirred in the crowds above, a soft chant that was growing louder with each word, so that by the time she felt Prime’s hands on her shoulders, the noise was deafening.

“CAST OUT THE SHADOWS. CAST OUT THE SHADOWS. CAST OUT THE SHADOWS.”

Prime lifted one hand up, and instantly the chanting ceased. Catra felt his grip on her wrists, heard the slash of his metallic claw through her bindings, and she was free. It gave her little comfort. Her tail curled around an ankle, and its tremors shook the leg it was attached to. He squeezed both of her shoulders, leaning down to whisper in her ear.

“I know your heart, Catra.” His voice was honey sweet. “I see how it aches, how it _yearns._ All you’ve wanted all your life was to be accepted and loved.” His thumbs traced tender circles into her fur. “Your _Adora_ never accepted you. She left you back on Etheria, and she left you here again. Just like everyone else has left you. And why wouldn’t they? You’ve hurt so many, pushed away so many.” His nails dug into her skin. “But I forgive you. I will never leave you, my child. You will always have a place here, you will always belong to my family, cherished and adored for the beautiful creature you can become.” He threaded his fingers in her hair, lifting its heaviness off the back of her neck to trace the delicate flesh at the base of her skull. “But first, you must surrender the weight of all your suffering and pain to me, and I will make you new. _Whole_. You can finally be at peace.” With one hand at the small of her back, he guided Catra to the gentle slope that led into the pool. It was becoming harder for her to walk. Her chest felt so tight, her breathing sounding rapid and panicked in her ears. Feeling in her fingers and toes was starting to lessen, and when she glanced down she was surprised to see them still present on her body. She was shocked when Prime bent down and wiped a tear from her face. When had she started crying?

“PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOWS. PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOWS. PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOWS.”

Prime’s words, the chanting of the clones, her own heartbeat resounding in her head; they all tangled and wove together into an agonizing cacophony in her soul, so distorted and overwhelming that Catra couldn’t think or feel anymore. _Just stop, please_ , she cried. _I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to feel like this anymore_.

“PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOWS. PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOWS. PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOWS.”

Catra’s legs started moving, almost of their own accord, carrying her down the ramp as her tail danced behind her. Mismatched eyes darted about frantically, taking in the green expanse before her. Peace. Isn’t that what she had been hoping for at the end of this journey? The fluid lapped at her ankles, now her hips, now her chest. Fully bathed, she tipped her head back, eyes closed. How did it matter what way she achieved peace? Nothing mattered anymore, certainly not her.

“PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOWS. PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOWS. PRIME CASTS OUT ALL SHADOW.”

 _Idiot! Of course it matters!_ A tiny voice shouted from deep within, thrashing its way over dissonance around her to be heard. _All of your flaws and scars and feelings? Those make you who you are! And that’s what Prime is going to take away. He’s going to wipe away everything that makes you Catra, and just turn you into another mindless clone!_ Catra’s eyes flew open. _Fight him! You’ve had to fight for everything in your life, why would you stop now?_ She spun, a snarl on her lips, ready to launch herself at her foe, when the chanting changed. Her gaze landed on Prime, and his features were further distorted with a victorious leer.

“ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE. ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE. ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE.”

And then there was pain. Everything was pain. Every bone in her body, every blood vessel, every hair, nothing existed within her that was not pain. Pain...and green. Every imaginable shade of it coursed through her body. Emerald tones flashed behind her eyes as she squeezed them shut, desperate to keep it from entering her skull. Jade crawled under her skin, making her wish she could rip back the flesh and pull the color out, if only her hands could work. Lime shoved its way down her throat, and she screamed, hoping the sound alone would be enough to expel it. On and on it lasted, the two working in tandem to tear her apart and stitch her back together.

“ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE. ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE. ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE.”

_Hold on! Fight it! Shadow Weaver was worse then this!_

But the pain and the green were breaching into her mind now, and the voice was growing softer, and with it, so too were her own thoughts. Her pride at rising to second-in-command in the Horde with nothing to rely on but her wits and her smarts? Vanished in a flash of sage. Her shame at banishing Entrapta to Beast Island, and the guilt she carried of all the terrible ways she treated Scorpia? With a shriek, it was ripped away. Her hatred of Shadow Weaver and all the abuse Catra endured at her hands, bound up with the agony and lost hope of what their relationship could have been if only she had earned the sorceress’s love? It was like Prime’s fingers gripped into her brain and tore it bloodily from within her, leaving nothing behind but scorching grass.

“ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE. ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE. ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE.”

Catra felt the invading pair pause and alight on something new. It was blonde, full of sunshine and hope, shining out at her with the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen. _No! Not Adora! I’ll never let you get your hands on Adora!_ But it was too late, and Prime didn’t care for her words. Piece by piece, the woman was taken from her as memories flashed and disappeared. Her innocent delight and camaraderie borne from sharing a childhood in a place as cold as the Fright Zone. Her fury and hurt at Adora’s betrayal on the battlefield of Thaymor, her continued anger and agony at the blonde warrior for refusing to just fucking acknowledge her for once in her damned privileged life. Her desire to be in the princess’s embrace again, safe and loved and for once a priority above all else, a dream so fully colored and fleshed out that it even tasted real. All of it. Gone.

_Adora._

There wasn’t much left after that. The pain and the green sped once, twice more through her form, and then it was over. The Magicat blinked, her mind empty and confused. How did she get here? Who was she? She turned, searching the room full of faces just as blank as her own, until her white eyes alighted on a new form. Her heart raced in anticipation, fluttering joyfully beneath her skin. She didn’t recognize the man, but she felt drawn to his side. His face alone held intelligence and warmth, and he extended one hand, beckoning her to join him. She moved through the water, her gaze never leaving his, until she stood before him and he pulled a cloak off the shoulders of the figure beside him. He cast it over her shoulders, covering her, and she realized with a faint flicker of surprise she had been naked. How strange. He pulled her into his embrace, brandishing an arm at the surrounding crowd.

“Behold, brothers! The purest among you! She who is to be cherished!”

Jubilant cheers poured from the men above, and she smiled. She wasn’t sure why, but their exultation stirred something warm within her. The creature that had relinquished his cloak stepped forward, and the speaker gestured to something small held in his palm. She bent down to inspect it, and saw it was a small spiky disc, with tiny black and purple wires poking out from its underbelly. She picked it up, fingering the smooth surface.

“I made this for you.” The feline looked up into four wide, kind eyes. “With this, our thoughts will always be known to one another. We will always be together in peace and love. Wouldn’t you like that, little sister?” Little sister. Why did that sound so nice?

_It’s a trick. He’s trying to control you, don’t let him!_

She blinked, ears flapping from the intrusive thoughts. She looked up into the speaker’s face, and felt nothing but trust. “Please.” Her voice was harsh, cracking around the word. But the speaker still smiled at her consent, beaming as he walked behind her and pushed her long hair off the back of her neck. His fingers etched along her skin, and she felt a sharp tingle in their wake. Her tail lifted up and curled around his forearm, an indefinable desperation to touch him again overtaking her.

“This will hurt, little sister.”

“All beings must suffer to become pure,” Little Sister heard herself say. As the last word left her lips, a metallic claw sliced through her flesh. A tiny whimper escaped her, and she clamped a hand over her mouth. It wouldn’t do to be weak. Isn’t this what she wanted? She felt a reassuring palm on top of her hair, and was soothed. He reached around her and plucked the disc from her fingers, and she heard rather then felt as it was pressed into the wound. There was a tinny ringing in her ears as the metal stitched itself into her skin, growing louder until it reached a crescendo, and suddenly all was clear and she understood. Beaming, she turned to face the man behind her, falling into a reverent crouch at his feet. It was he, her savior, her Lord. He had taken away her pain and suffering, and made her whole. His voice filled her head and it spoke of love and acceptance. She purred. She was finally home, finally at peace.

Lord Prime pulled her to her feet, cupping her face between his hands. Little Sister could see her face reflected in his four eyes, and with a joyful realization witnessed that her own were now as beautiful and green as his. How could she have ever doubted his love? He moved his touch to her hair, and frowned slightly at its length. She frowned too. It was so heavy and long, too long! It hid his gift from the world! Her heart beat frantically for a moment, the need to rectify the situation overwhelming in its urgency, until she spotted a gleaming pair of scissors in the possession of a clone standing behind her. She grabbed them and presented them to Lord Prime, turning and offering the offensive mane to him when he accepted the scissors.

“You would like me to take this affliction from you, Little Sister?”

“Please, Lord Prime!” She begged. “Take this weight from me, like you took the weight of my agony and hatred!” The sigh that left her upon the first sounds of cutting was blissful, ecstatic. She looked down, vision wet, as the dirty locks began littering the floor.

_My hair._

Little Sister frowned. ~Go away shadows, you do not belong here in the mind of one cherished by Lord Prime!~

_It took so long to grow out. Do you remember? The other cadets would pull on your hair when you were kids. They said you looked like a lumpy ball of fur...Adora never did. Adora said your hair was pretty._

She squeezed her eyes shut again, refusing to open them until the noise ceased. Her head felt so much lighter. She ran her fingers through the shorter strands, more tears pricking at the corners of her new eyes. “It’s beautiful, Lord Prime.”

“You are beautiful, Little Sister.” She cried at this. No one ever told her she was beautiful.

_Adora did. Adora thought you were._

Her Lord’s voice interrupted whatever dark place those words were trying to lead her to. “Brothers! Take our little sister to her quarters. She needs to rest before our guest arrives.” Smiling down at her, he brushed away her tears. “She will be here soon, won’t she? Your Adora.” Her smile slipped. Why would Adora come here? An exciting thought bubbled to the surface.

“Is she coming to join us, Lord Prime?”

“Little Sister, you are so clever. It is my greatest wish for her to join my family. But she is stubborn, much like you were. I will need your help. Will you aid me? It would make me so happy.” His lips curled, and she felt unimaginable pride at being able to bring him joy.

“It would be my greatest honor!” She bowed deeply, and followed two clones to a small utilitarian room, outfitted all in white, with a simple bed and a clean uniform just her size.

~How special he must think me, to give me my own room and clothing!~

_Prime must have been planning this for a while. He knew I would do something; he was just waiting for the opportunity. You have to fight it, Catra!_

~No, I reject that name. I am Prime’s Little Sister.~

_Catra, you idiot! Adora is coming! Prime is going to use you to get to her, to make her...I dunno, do something stupid and heroic! You have to be in control. Fight it! Fight him!_

~Why would I want to fight my savior? He has given me a peace I have never known before. He loves me despite my flaws, and he purified me of them. I am good and whole because of him. You know nothing. Be silent. I must rest so I may be ready to assist my Lord.~ With a grumble, the voice quieted down, and Little Sister smiled at having bested it, tail curling and uncurling in satisfaction.

There was no way to measure how much time had passed. Her room had no window, not like she could measure the hours by the stars and planets that flew by. She required no water, desired no sustenance. What was want to one in the light of Lord Prime? All she craved was his voice and to be in his presence again.

Her mind might have been strong in his love, but her body? Oh her body was so very weak, and so she slept. That was when the dreams came. The voice would return in the dreams, full of anger and fear and all the ugly little things she’d relinquished to her Lord. It was easy enough at first to push against the hateful words aside, her faith firm and unshakable...but then the Woman started appearing too. She began emerging after Little Sister’s first few slumbers, for just a glimpse, the voice screaming out what must have been her name. _Adora!_ It wasn’t long until the Woman, until Adora, started answering back.

 _“Catra!”_ Her presence lingered in Little Sister’s dreams the longer time dragged on. _“Catra! I’m here to rescue you! I’ve come to take you home!”_ Sometimes she would march triumphantly into the scene, statuesque and proud, her smile blazing forth like the fire stoked in Little Sister’s soul each time she saw the Woman’s face. Adora’s hand would extend, and the feline could count every line on her palm. She would take the blonde’s grasp, and, beaming, she would be pulled to her feet and into the most affectionate embrace, her form bracketed by two muscular arms. _“I love you!”_ She would proclaim, lips kissing the Magicat’s shorter hair. Little Sister would wake from those slumbers purring.

Other times, she would come to with the sounds of her choked sobs filling her ears, her body wracked with the force of her crying, her tail wrapped fiercely around her waist. In those...those nightmares, Adora would be on the ground, her hair loose beneath her head, her arms and legs splayed in unnatural angles. Her chest would quake with uneven gasps, and yet she would still call out to Little Sister, her ocean eyes pooling as she lovingly addressed her with a discarded name. _“Catra...Catra, I love...”_ But then a metallic boot would appear against the Woman’s throat, and Lord Prime would press, pushing down harder and harder, until all sound and breath would cease from her forever. Little Sister would weep in the dream, and then awake to weep some more, thoughts brimming with the look on her Lord’s face as he killed his foe.

Regardless if she awoke purring or sobbing, after a few moments, Prime’s voice would whisper in her ear. “Little Sister, why are you sad?” he would say. Or it would be, “Little Sister, why are you happy?” He would stroke the downy fluff on her jaw, his smile beatific in the face of her distress. The next part followed the same every time, his voice turned icy steel and his caresses to possessive claims. “Did you dream of her, of _your Adora?_ Did she feed you honeyed words, show you beautiful places? She _lies_. She will never come for you. You never mattered to her, you never mattered to anyone before me.”

Little Sister would sniff, her reply watery and small. “She...she loves me. She said so.”

The four eyes would narrow. “When? When did Adora ever _say_ she loves you? In these foolish dreams you have?” He would scoff. “Only _I_ could ever love you. Besides, Adora’s singular reason to come here is to face _me_.” His fingers would lace in her hair, suddenly soothing. “All she ever cared about was being the best. You were never anything more then just a stepping stone to the top for her.” He would tilt her face up, thumbs wiping away her tears.

Little Sister would smile into his kindness. “Only you have ever loved me.”

By the fourth iteration of this sequence—dreaming of Adora, Prime speaking with her—a frightened thought formed in the back of her mind. What if...what if her Lord was _giving_ her these nightmares? Was he testing her, tempering her love for him in the approaching temptation of the Woman’s arrival? Little Sister ground her teeth and pressed her green eyes closed. Her legs gave out beneath her and she crumbled to the floor, knees bruising from the impact. ~Please, please no more. I love you, Lord Prime, I will only ever love you. Please, take these horrible visions from me.~

“All beings must suffer to become pure. All beings must suffer to become pure. ALL BEINGS MUST SUFFER TO BECOME PURE.” His voice mingled with the toning of the clones, pushing into her brain until the pressure and volume made Little Sister scream, and she collapsed into a dead faint. When she came to, she curled in on herself, ears flat to her skull and tail curled around her calves, rocking back and forth as she wept.

~No more. After this, no more tears. I will be strong in your love, Lord Prime. Adora...She never cared for me. She will never come for me. I only matter in your sight, Lord Prime.~ She hoped her promise would be enough.

It wasn’t. The following sleep brought Adora’s death again, only more gruesome then before. Hot red blood coated the feline’s hands as she clutched the blonde’s form in the dream, her forehead resting against a silent heart. When she awoke, fingers fisted in torn sheets instead of a red jacket, she bolted upright, frantically wiping her face clean of any wetness before the inevitable arrival of her savior.

“Little Sister, why are you sad?” He picked up her hand, cradling it between his own.

“I...I have missed you, my Lord!” She croaked out, leaning to press her cheek to his chest. “I long to be by your side, serving you.” His fingers flexed against her captive palm and he moved back to peer down into her face.

“It won’t be long now, my beloved. She is advancing ever closer in her preposterous quest to stop me. Will you be ready?”

“Always. For you, always.” With a final squeeze, Prime departed her room. Little Sister crawled into her bed, wrapping her arms around the backs of her knees. ~She is close, and soon we will be united in my Lord’s sight.~ She breathed heavily through her nose. ~I must not sleep. I must be strong, no, I _am_ strong. Ad—no, the Woman. She is not coming for me, I understand that now. She does not care for me, and I do not care for her. I need no one’s love but my Lord’s.~ For once, the voice was silent, and Little Sister could, if not slumber, at least relax, one ear perked for the imminent call.

She didn't have to wait long. “Little Sister?” He filled her mind, and she was awash with happiness. “Your Adora is finally here. Let us greet her, shall we?”

“Yes, Lord Prime. All must become one together under your light.” She rose from her bed and walked to the door, unfazed by the presence of two clones sent to escort her to the throne room. One of them pulled up the hood of her uniform, and then they were off. Her heart beat excitedly in her chest. ~I have been summoned to help Lord Prime! What bliss!~

_Oh for fuck’s—! Catra! WAKE UP! Adora is here, she shouldn’t be...she must have come back for you, the idiot! Gods, what has he done to her? I swear, if he’s laid a single finger on her—!_

~Then she is blessed! I long to feel my Lord’s touch again. I will help him, and your twisted words will not lead me astray!~ The three had reached the entrance, and her stomach twisted at Prime’s closeness. She could hear angry shouting as she approached the dais.

“Now, for the last time, where is Catra?!” Why was that voice so familiar to her? Like the memory of a dream...

“Adora?”

_Adora. Adora! Run!_

“Catra?! WHERE ARE YOU?!”

Lord Prime spoke next, and it was all Little Sister could do to keep from running to him. She quickened her steps, and reached the landing before his throne as he finished addressing the woman in front of him. “Come here, child.” He was smiling at her, and gesturing for her to join him. She pulled her hood down, anxious to be seen and loved, and caught the face of the blonde Prime had been speaking to. She blinked, and ecstasy overtook her. Her time had come!

“Hello, Adora.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D 
> 
> Please have mercy. Oh, if it's not clear, the ~lines are chipped Catra, the italicized are real Catra 
> 
> Feel free to yell at me on tumblr https://itcanprobablysmellfear.tumblr.com
> 
> Listen to my Catradora playlist on Spotify if it floats your boat. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5wGhJLCKlaTGK3UgXkDfaf?si=cBdHb7trQ6eKgFzTjS5pzw


	3. I've Got Another Confession To Make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I was thinking about something you said to me, before we went to sleep.” There was the tiniest quiver in Catra’s voice as she whispered, eyes still not meeting Adora’s, so quiet that the blonde thought she might have imagined it. “You said Sparkles and Arrow Boy were...were kissing?”
> 
> Adora’s eyebrows quirked. What did that have to do with anything? “Yeah?”
> 
> “Does that...does that mean...you and she aren’t,” Catra massaged her shoulders, her tail twitching behind her, and with a shock Adora recognized the actions. Catra was nervous. “Aren’t, you know...together?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yooooooooo. It's only been seventy thousand years since I updated this pic, who's counting? Not this girl over here, certainly, nope nope nope. 
> 
> Also, guess who's been reading a shit ton of meta essays over on the tumblrs about Catra and her life choices and how the cycle of abuse and the lessons ingrained by such are really hard to break out of? THIS GIRL! Thank you to all those peeps. When I can figure out how to link tumblr posts, I shall credit these people. If anyone can give me directions in the comments, I would HEARTILY appreciate it. Oh and PS this is written with the assumption and understanding that "Don't Go" by Annacharlier is canon. We all know that was you, Noelle.
> 
> Final caveat - I'm better at writing Adora's internal crises than Catra's, so this one was a struggle...but, SHOCKING, writing and emoting and that shit are a struggle! LIFE IS PAIN. Ok I'm leaving bye.

“Hey, Adora.”

The voice reached out to Adora as she drifted in the liminal space between sleep and wakefulness. _How strange,_ she thought, _that sounds like Catra’s voice. But Catra and I haven’t slept in the same bed together in so long…right? Is that right? It can’t be_...For a moment, the past three years vanished, and the blonde was back with the Horde, twisted sleepily in rough sheets. She kept her eyes shut, squeezing them so tight colors burst behind her eyelids. Any second now, the alarms would blare, rousing the cadets to another day of drills and exercises. But her bed was so comfortable...couldn’t she rest for just five more minutes?

As Adora stirred, groaning as she pulled herself towards the polarity of consciousness, she wondered why the pillow under her face was so soft, the blanket covering her so warm. She couldn’t remember; did she get a new room when she was promoted? Her right hand curled on something that felt luxurious beneath her fingertips, silky and so familiar, and she smiled lightly as she caressed it. It was warm too, whatever it was, and she moved so her entire palm could encase it, her fingers tracing the gossamer threads over a gentle slope. 

“Adora?”

Finally possessing enough strength to tug herself into the land of the living, Adora cracked open her eyes. So I’m not in the Fright Zone, she pondered, blinking mystified across at her bedmate. Sleepy gray-blues took in the room as awareness twinkled in lazily. _I’m in space. I’m in space, in a bed. I’m in space, in a bed...with Catra._ Sudden realization hit her as she glanced down, horrified, to just exactly what her fingers had been stroking. It was Catra’s exposed waist, her shirt bunched up and tangled around her as she slumbered. With a tiny squeak Adora yanked her hand back to her chest, palm burning like it had been placed on an open flame. “S-sorry,” she stuttered out, cheeks rivaling her ubiquitous jacket.

Catra looked just as embarrassed. “It’s...it’s fine,” she muttered, not looking at Adora, her arms wrapped tightly over her body. Several very awkward seconds passed between them, neither daring to move except for the curling and uncurling of the Magicat’s tail. Adora’s fingers itched to be on Catra again, to soothe whatever concern adorned the space between her eyebrows. A small part of her wished for the dream world again, where she wasn’t She-Ra and Catra was still her friend and she didn’t feel so _weird_ for wanting to touch her. There couldn’t have been more then six inches between them, but to Adora it felt like a yawning, impassable chasm. Tears prickled at the corners of her eyes.

“I was thinking about something you said to me, before we went to sleep.” There was the tiniest quiver in Catra’s voice as she whispered, eyes still not meeting Adora’s, so quiet that the blonde thought she might have imagined it. “You said Sparkles and Arrow Boy were...were kissing?” 

Adora’s eyebrows quirked. What did that have to do with anything? “Yeah?” 

“Does that...does that mean...you and she aren’t,” Catra massaged her shoulders, her tail twitching behind her, and with a shock Adora recognized the actions. Catra was nervous. “Aren’t, you know...together?”

Adora burst out laughing and Catra’s head shot up, blue and gold irises latching onto the other woman’s face. “Gods, no!” The mismatched eyes grew as large as plates. “I mean, Glimmer’s cute and all but...”Adora’s bemused expression faltered and fell as her stomach sank, replaced with something forlorn. “No. I...um...no, we’re not together.” You’re the only one for me, she tried to say, but the words caught in her throat, held back by whatever force prevented her from crossing the space between them.

The length of two heartbeats passed, and then Catra groaned, pulling her hands to cover her face and roll on her back, the noise increasing in pitch until the Magicat flung her arms out to glare at the ceiling. “She’s _not_ your girlfriend?!”

Adora frowned, confused. Why would Catra be upset that she and Glimmer weren’t dating? Was she disappointed? Her stomach dropped further, weighed down like a stone with sadness and despair. Was she hoping Adora was taken so it wouldn’t be awkward between them? Does she have someone back in the Horde? She ran through the other soldiers in her brain, squinting at their features. Her first thought was Scorpia, but Adora was pretty sure the scorpion princess had fallen in love with Perfuma the moment the woman had walked in the room. _Lonnie_? Adora’s nose wrinkled at that. Lonnie bullied Catra too much for anything remotely resembling attraction to exist between them. She was struggling, attempting to name the girls in the squad across from their bunker— _oh gods_ , came the panicked thought, _could Catra be bi??! I don’t think I could handle the possibility that she’s dating a guy right now!! Wait, when would she even have_ time _right now she’s been in_ SPACE—when the main star of her downward spiral spoke again.

“I’m _such_ an idiot.” Catra turned her head to scowl at Adora. “The whole point of me sending Glimmer to you was to give you your girlfriend back!” She started growling again, hand back over her eyes, as if the very sight of the blonde infuriated her. The rumble in her throat crackled, breaking and hiccupping until it dissolved into raucous, unhinged laughter, but when the Magicat pulled her hands away, her face looked broken. Like she found utterly no joy in the circumstances. “Gods, I can’t do anything right.”

Adora was going to tear her hair out if she didn’t get answers to the questions boiling inside her _right now._ “Catra, what—?”

An outstretched palm almost smacked her in the face. “Nope. Nope. Me,” the hand withdrew to wave in its owner’s direction. “I need to...I need to tell you...things.” Catra took a deep breath through her nose. “Entrapta said I have to try. I have to _try_ to be better.” Two more lengthy inhales followed this, and then, “You _hurt_ me, Adora.” The words were spoken more to the ceiling then to the blonde anxiously digging her nails into her palms, but the ceiling wasn’t named “Adora.” “It’s not an, an _excuse_ and it doesn’t justify any of the horrible things I did, but you hurt me.”

The feline turned to face the blonde, and Adora felt the mismatched eyes boring into her. It took more bravery then she possessed to meet the gaze of her...what were they even now? What title could she possibly give Catra? Former friend didn’t feel right, and neither did once-lover. They were ex-enemies, yes, but that only spoke to their past, it had no standing in the here and now. Current bedmate sounded too intimate. Fellow member of the Rebellion not intimate enough. Regardless, this Other Person In The Room was looking at Adora and Adora had no choice but to look back. It would have been easier to command her heart to stop then to deny meeting the woman’s eyes. Gold and blue stars twinkled in the darkness across from her, wide and steady and...wet? Tiny rivulets coursed through the fur on Catra’s face, almost imperceptible, if Adora didn’t know this face and dream of it every night. The blonde reached out a hand to brush away the tears, but her wrist was seized and all movement ground to a halt.

“Leave it.”

The blonde nodded, her mouth suddenly dry. Satisfied, the Magicat nodded, releasing Adora’s wrist. Their hands fell to the mattress, not touching but so close Adora could feel the heat from Catra’s pinkie radiating to her own. _Touch me_ , it screamed. _Hold me._ She moved infinitesimally closer, and her heart leapt to her throat as the tiny hairs on her finger brushed the fur on Catra’s.

“When you left me, you hurt me. Adora, you hurt me _so much._ Shadow Weaver always hated me and thought I was less then dirt. But you leaving? That was you saying I was less too, less than you and less than these...fucking strangers you had just met. And not even that! It was a new calling for you! Being the Horde’s golden child wasn’t enough, you had to be the savior to some bigger purpose.” The mismatched eyes steeled. They weren’t lights anymore; they were angry, flinty gemstones so beautiful in their durability. “You made it clear you didn’t want me as a sidekick anymore, and Shadow Weaver always told me I could never be the hero. So what else was left for me, but to be your villain?”

Something was shaking. Adora’s eyes darted around, taking in the room. Was there a problem with the ship? No, no it was on a much more miniature scale than that, and far more central too. Catra. Her hands, her hands were quivering, quaking with emotion. Her pinkie resting a hair away was vibrating, the motion causing their skin to brush together. Adora’s breath caught in her chest. Dare she reach out? It was easier on Horde’s ship to drag her broken legs to Catra’s dying form, simpler to cradle the fragile Magicat to her body, effortless to summon She-Ra when surrounded by enemies; all these paled in comparison to the monumental effort to move her hand exactly two centimeters and touch the woman across from her. Maybe if she closed her eyes it would be easier?

Fingertip met fingertip. Two pairs of lungs exhaled. What would happen next? Adora definitely didn’t know, so she waited. Listened. She opened her eyes to find Catra staring at their hands, a wistful smile adorning the lightly freckled face, ears canted low.

“And you know what?” Catra’s voice was low, so quiet it was almost as if she was talking to herself. “I was really good at it. It was my plan to kidnap Sparkles and Arrow Boy, and get the Sword away from you. Stupid Shadow Weaver had to ruin that by taking credit. But then I got Entrapta to the Black Garnet, and we were so close to defeating you back then...I got closer then Hordak ever did to making a portal...and it was _my_ idea, _my_ strategies and _my_ nights staying up with no sleep to plan out tank formation and soldier deployment, that brought Salineas under the Horde’s control.” Her face twisted in on itself. “Even though it brought so much pain and death, I’m...I’m _proud_ of that. I’m _proud_ of myself. I never got what you did. Shadow Weaver never fawned over me and told me I was ‘special’ or ‘gifted.’ Lonnie and Rogelio and the other cadets barely tolerated me, even when you were around, but when you left? It was like they could smell the blood on the water.” The pain in her eyes was overwhelming. “You never protected me, and even if you tried, it just made me look weaker to everyone else. It made _me_ weaker. I had to fight, tooth and claw, but gods look at where I ended up? Second in command...I was pretty much running things by the end. I would have, too, if Prime hadn’t showed up.”

Now it wasn’t just fingertips that touched. Adora, with a reckless mix of bravery and abandon, dared to inch her hand closer, and her pinkie looped around Catra’s. She gently squeezed. There was a pause, and then it was reciprocated, a delicate pressure felt along the ridges of her knuckle. It gave her the courage to speak. “Is that what you wanted?”

Catra shifted, and Adora froze, expecting her to pull away. _I’ve done too much, I’ve pushed her too much, she’s going to pull away from me. Again._ But the woman next to her only scooted closer, threading not just her fifth finger but the remaining four in Adora’s, her thumb slowly stroking the back of Adora’s hand. “I finally felt strong. Protected. No one would _dare_ go after Hordak’s right hand. I finally felt like I belonged...what did it matter if there was no one there beside me? I survived without you. I could survive without anyone else. I didn’t want to be in pain anymore, so I decided to be angry.” Her voice broke on the last word, her nails burying themselves into Adora’s skin so quickly that the blonde didn’t even have time to gasp in pain before they were retracted. “If I pushed everyone away, that just meant there was no one left who could hurt me. Like you did.” Fresh tears marked eyes the color of sky and sun. “I think I _hated_ it. I thought once I got as high as I could go, I would be happy. But...I couldn’t sleep. All I could think, every second, was, ‘what if I mess this up? What if it’s not worth it?’ I never felt safe or secure. And I still _hurt._ Why did I keep hurting, Adora?”

This time, when the blonde reached out, Catra didn’t stop her. She allowed Adora to touch her face, to softly wipe the wetness away and bury her hand in the crook of the Magicat’s neck, fingers sweeping through the wisps of hair at the base of her skull. Adora’s tongue felt heavy in her mouth, useless with the guilt wracking her heart at Catra’s confession. _What can I do to make this better? Can I even_ do _anything, or is this something Catra needs to do on her own? Is it enough for me to just lay here and witness?_

Maybe it was, because with each caress in her hair, the Magicat calmed, until her eyes were clear, if still a little damp, and her chest moved in a steady rhythm. She smiled up at the blonde, a dimple forming in the cheek pressed into the pillow, her ears flicking up. “Sparkles is a good friend, you know that, right?”

“I wanted to go back for you, the second after we picked her up,” Adora murmured. Catra’s eyes flashed up. “I was so afraid though, of putting her back in danger, and bringing Bow and Entrapta into it too. But, I...I _needed_ to, and Glimmer saw that.” The blonde smiled at their entwined hands. “She’s really observant when she wants to be.”

“Well, the girl saw _right_ through me.” Catra chuckled, the noise slightly muffled as she shifted, scooting her body forward to press her face into Adora’s forearm. Her bare knees grazed the blonde’s thighs, her tail curling around the backs of the other woman’s knees, and if she hadn’t been so focused on just how long Catra’s eyelashes were, Adora would have started at the new contact. “She honestly kept me sane up in Prime’s ship. I don’t know if I knew I could trust her then, or if it was because she was the only person who didn’t share h-his face.” Mismatched eyes squeezed shut, a light shudder drawing over the feline’s body. Adora squeezed her fingers and shifted, moving her left arm trapped under Catra’s head so she could stroke the furry space between the Magicat’s shoulders. And if that meant their faces were even closer now, well, that was just a completed unintended side effect, why would anyone think otherwise?

A weary smile stretched over Catra’s face as she opened her eyes. “I had a lot of time up there, where I was alone. Like, _literally_ alone. Prime’s ship is fucking massive, I’d go hours without seeing a clone. I kept seeing all of...all of my choices. How any time I tried to do the ‘right’ thing or try to make myself better, I’d get smacked in the face with some reminder of how fucking small and worthless I was.” Her next words were so soft that Adora could hardly hear them over the whirl of machinery echoing in Mara’s vessel. “You know, when Hordak banished me to the Crimson Waste, it almost felt like a fresh start. Within just a couple of days, Scorpia and I had overtaken the biggest gang, secured the ship, and captured you. I felt like I was _finally_ out from under Shadow Weaver’s thumb, and I was... _happy_.” The confession came out so low that if Adora hadn’t been watching Catra’s mouth and read the word on her lips, she would have missed it. “Before I came in to talk to you, Scorpia...she suggested we stay in the Waste and I...I wanted to. I was going to. We probably would have roughed you up a little bit and taken the Sword, but then we would’ve released you and let you go back to the Rebellion. Nothing too serious, just something to save face...but then you told me where Shadow Weaver was.” Color infused over the feline’s cheeks and her eyebrows met in a furrowed, furious expression, ears flat against her skull, her voice filling with steel. “How she left me, _used me_ , to get to you...and gods I couldn’t even see for how angry I was. Angry and... _hurt._ So I had to hurt you, and her, and everyone else who told me I wasn’t anything. If that meant destroying the world in the process, then so be it. That’s the price I was willing to pay to make sure no one would ever question my worth anymore.”

It took the Magicat a few moments to calm down, the color making a slow surrender from her face. “I kept thinking about that choice, and so many others I made, trying to prove I was strong and important and that I didn’t need anyone to tell me that I was. I could be enough for the world and myself. But Adora I was so tired. My anger was like a...like a fire, fueling me and driving me to be better and climb faster. But away from all the fighting, lonely, with no one but this sad little queen to keep me company...all I could taste was ash. It made me sick.” Catra took a deep, shuddering breath. Adora wanted to ask if she needed to take a break, but before she could ask—“But then Glimmer asked me to fight. It didn’t matter to her that I was her enemy, that I’d killed her mother and hurt her friends and done nothing but destroy everything she stood for. She was able to look at me and in me and see something _good._ I...I didn’t know if I could. I just told you my track record. I don’t know how to be ‘the good guy.’ But I knew I couldn’t continue on as I was, boasting and blustering and pushing for just a sliver of power from someone who would never and could never give me the peace I needed.” Catra huffed, a tiny exhale of laughter that tickled Adora’s nose as it blew over her face. “Go big or go home, right? Make a scene so loud and vainglorious that Prime would have no choice but to get rid of me. Get rid of me, and not give me the option to fuck things up again for you.”

Catra’s right hand, currently curled into her stomach, came into Adora’s view as the feline brought it up to her line of vision. The mismatched eyes latched onto the golden locks spilling over Adora’s shoulders and, hesitating for a just long enough to blink twice, she took the very ends between her fingers, running the strands over her knuckles. “It wasn’t like I wanted to sacrifice myself, but I thought by saving Glimmer and making things right, I’d get to go down in a blaze of glory. I’d get to finally be good. I could give you back someone who loved you, someone who made you happy. Yeah, I’d be dead...but then I wouldn’t run the risk of making the wrong choice again.” One long canine poked out as her lips drew back sardonically. “Looks like I still fucked up, though. I can’t believe I thought she was your girlfriend.”

Adora smiled back. She wasn’t sure if she trusted her voice to remain steady. Each caress of Catra’s fingers in her hair sent a fresh wave of butterflies swooping in her stomach. Every brush of her nails on Adora’s bare shoulders jump-started her heart, _ba-DUMP! Ba-DUMP!_ “We-ell,” she winced at the high-pitched crack. “Well, y-you didn’t ask me to come back! That was all my fault.”

A volley of squeaky chirps erupted from the opposite side of the bed and oh, _oh_ all the aches Adora still felt pounding in her body were suddenly nothing. She never imagined she would get to hear that sound again. The restless dreams that would plague her too frequently, where these beautiful peals would echo and reverberate in her brain, mocking her as she frantically searched to no avail for their source; those pale shadows didn’t count. Nothing could compare to the real thing. A few minutes passed as Catra’s giggles subsided, Adora laying there grinning in an absent-minded way, drinking in each and every dulcet tone. The time they spent just smiling at each other lasted even longer, each content to simply look into a face seen only across battlefields for the past three years. Gods but it was so nice to just exist in the same space as Catra again, Adora thought, to breathe and blink and _be_ in her presence. But the wrinkles on the Magicat’s forehead came back, creeping in as inexorable as the thoughts that inspired them.

“Adora,” Catra whispered, more vulnerable and scared then Adora heard this entire conversation. “Adora, I’m getting a second chance...but haven’t I been given so many already, and thrown them all in the dirt? I’ve had so many opportunities to put down my anger, but I’ve been too blinded to make the right choice. It’s all I’ve had for so long, my anger, and my pain...I don’t know if there will be anything left of me when I let them go...what if I’m never going to get better? What if I try and try and try but I just keep being _wrong_?” She moved again, her body an afterthought to her words, drawing even closer to the blonde. She shook her left hand free to place it on Adora’s waist, blue and gold eyes wide and searching. Adora could see her face reflected in them, could count all the freckles on Catra’s face she was so close now, if she wanted. _Gods I want to._

“You were alone before.” Her voice was bold, almost too loud in this tiny intimate space. Adora definitely didn’t feel bold _or_ loud right now. “You have me.” Catra’s eyes grew even wider at that, filling with something Adora didn’t immediately recognize. Her right hand, unbidden, moved to the feline’s cheek. Why was she afraid of the moment when she _did_ recognize it? What would it mean for them, going forward? Panic filled her chest. “You have a-all of us.” She chickened out, and the emotion fled the mismatched orbs across from her. “We’re all here to help you. Whatever you need.”

Catra relaxed into the blonde’s embrace, her face wistful. Why did she look disappointed just now? “Thanks, Adora.”

“I-I mean it. Whatever I, uh, whatever any of us can do, just say the word!” She was starting to ramble, but she didn’t know how to stop. Her cheeks were starting to turn red too, why were they turning red?! “Um, Perfuma was teaching me these breathing exercises to help me relax before sleep, they really helped! She’ll definitely be able to help you when we finally get back—”

“Adora!” If her name, shouted with the exact same exasperation and affection as Catra did when they were growing up, throwing the young woman back several years until she was a child again, didn’t shut her up, then the palm covering her mouth definitely would. Was it always this warm in their— _no, Catra’s, Catra’s room_. Was it always this warm in _Catra’s_ room? The feline grinned, and when she pulled her hand away, Adora was shocked it wasn’t burned from the heat on her face. “You being here, and listening to me? That’s enough for me right now.” Her smile softened, crinkling the skin around her eyes until the whole effect stole the air from Adora’s lungs. “Thank you.”

Adora watched as blue and gold darted over her features, roving from her forehead, across her cheekbones and down the bridge of her nose, until settling on her lips. The blonde licked them, and that so familiar expression flooded back into Catra’s eyes. “Any-anytime.”

The feline, still staring at Adora’s lips, canted her head slightly, pressing into the woman’s toned bicep. She found herself mirroring her bedmate, leaning just slightly forward. _Huh_. Catra’s left eye was _really_ blue, what she could see of it under the lowering lid. There were flecks of teal and ultramarine swirling in the aqua depths, the shades darkening to navy and even violet the closer the color reached her pupil. How had Adora never noticed that before? How had she never really appreciate the curve of Catra’s mouth either, now that she was asking? The sharp, almost dramatic dip of her cupid’s bow, it was so pretty. Yes, she’d tasted it before, but that frantic night she and the feline had devoured each other, quiet and hasty and begging for release in the moonlight, it had never been enough to satiate. Adora wanted to savor Catra, take her slowly and gently, no threat of discovery or judgment hanging over their heads.

Their noses brushed. Adora sighed, eyes sliding shut. Yes. Finally, _yes._

The door burst open. “YOU GUYS!” Glimmer trilled, arms thrown wide as she charged into the room. “We’re here, we reached Krytis!” She looked around, taking in the two occupants. “What happened?”

The second they were interrupted, Catra had shrieked, shoving Adora—and the blanket—off the bed to boost herself against the headboard, tail puffed out and hackles risen. Groaning, the blonde pulled herself into a sitting position, hand going to the back of her head to rub what no doubt was going to be a huge goose egg by the end of the day. “N-nothing, Glimmer. You just startled us is all.”

“Well, Entrapta finished making Catra’s space suit, so hurry and get dressed. Wrong Hordak made some breakfast, he said it would be ready in a couple minutes.” With a twirl of her sparkly cape, the queen exited the room, leaving the residents in a far more awkward state then when she had first arrived.

“I-I guess I’ll go, so you can get dressed.” Adora stuttered, looking everywhere but the Magicat. She was up and halfway to the door before a tiny “see you soon” reached her ears from the figure still curled up on the bed. Adora tried to smile, but her heart wasn’t in it. Her heart, in fact, was somewhere in the pit of her stomach, heavy and deflated.

_Gods, Glimmer, couldn’t you have waited just five more minutes?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 
> 
> Chapter 4, when I do finally write it, will return to the Explicit rating. No fears, my lovelies.


	4. I'm Your Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party was probably going to last all night and well into the next day, if either of them had any inclination to linger and watch. Adora couldn’t speak for anyone but herself, but the longer she danced and laughed and smiled, friends’ arms thrown over her shoulders and dirty, happy bodies pressed into her own in jubilant celebration, the more she longed for the singular presence of a specific person. There was only one she wanted to be with right now, here at the end of the war and the beginning of some bright, beautiful future that filled the blonde’s chest with so much hope she couldn’t contain it in her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies! Here we are, finally at the end of this. I hope you all enjoy it!

The party was probably going to last all night and well into the next day, if either of them had any inclination to linger and watch. Adora couldn’t speak for anyone but herself, but the longer she danced and laughed and smiled, friends’ arms thrown over her shoulders and dirty, happy bodies pressed into her own in jubilant celebration, the more she longed for the singular presence of a specific person. There was only one she wanted to be with right now, here at the end of the war and the beginning of some bright, beautiful future that filled the blonde’s chest with so much hope she couldn’t contain it in her body. Even now, just thinking about it, it spilled from her, tears leaking out the corners of her eyes, but it wasn’t like she was surrounded by dry faces. Glimmer was currently sandwiched between Bow and Micah, all three sniffing and huffing and trying desperately to not be the first person to cry. Sea Hawk, three pints in and draped over Mermista’s lap, had fully broken down, face splotchy and wet as he attempted a ballad that likely would have been rousing if he hadn’t sounded so warbly from the drinks.

Leaning forward on her tip-toes, Adora scanned the packed room, ducking out from the embrace of yet another well-wisher for “the mighty She-Ra! You saved us, you saved us all!” The warrior’s 8-foot frame would have come in _really_ handy just about now as she searched for mismatched eyes and a long tail, but Catra had insisted that this was _Adora’s_ time, not She-Ra’s.

“You were the one who saved the planet, Adora.” The Magicat’s words were as soft as her fingers lightly grasping the other woman’s shoulder. The two were outside the ballroom hosting the festivities, and the blonde had her right arm raised to summon her alter ego, _she’s who everyone wants to see,_ when she was stopped by Catra’s touch.

Smiling gently, the feline moved her hand down the length of Adora’s arm to thread their fingers together. “Your courage and your love, not She-Ra’s, brought us here.”

“And _your_ kiss!” The princess grinned down at the shorter woman, who responded with a roll of her split eyes.

“You’re such an idiot.” But Catra squeezed their entwined hands all the same.

“ _Your_ idiot,” Adora shot back, leaning forward to press her lips to the feline’s forehead. She felt Catra still under the affection before she canted her head to nestle under the blonde’s chin. “It…it still feels kind of weird. I’ve been _dreaming_ of touching you, of being together like this with you for so long…I’m half afraid I’ll wake up and none of this will have been real.”

Catra’s breath was warm on her neck as she let out a light chuckle. “You dreamed of this exact scenario? Me confessing I love you right before the world was _literally_ about to explode and then you saving the world and then, for our magnanimous and heroic efforts, being forced to spend the next several hours at some gods-forsaken party rubbing elbows with people I’ve been actively trying to conquer for the past three years?” She pulled out of their embrace to stick her tongue out at Adora but paused at the bashful grin creasing the other woman’s face. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You love me. It makes me happy to hear it.” The smile on her face grew wider, if at all possible.

Catra scoffed, cheeks instantly red, her tail curling around her calf. “Have I also mentioned that you’re an idiot?”

Adora shrugged before burrowing her nose behind the feline’s ear. It flapped as the brunette giggled, squirming to get away. “You’ve mentioned it a couple of times.” Her free arm came up and around the shorter woman’s waist, pinning them together. “You could do to mention it a couple more.”

Catra released her hold on Adora’s hand in favor of placing both of her own on the blonde’s chest, half-heartedly attempting to push herself free. “Adora!” She squeaked, twisting as she was bracketed by two strong arms. “Adora that tickles!” But this just spurred the taller woman to continue, adding lips and teeth to the assault until they were both panting, breathless and sore from laughter.

 _Gods you’re so beautiful._ Adora smoothed a lock of hair from Catra’s forehead, brushing it away so she could look into blue and gold eyes unrestricted. The fingers at the Magicat’s temple moved south, flipped so as to brush her knuckles against a downy cheek. The hands on her chest flexed, nails very lightly digging into the fabric of her shirt, and so Adora responded in kind. She squeezed at Catra’s waist, palm digging into the tight, pliant flesh, and she thrilled at the soft gasp the touch elicited from the woman in her arms.

Blue eyes darted down to the dark lips that made the delicious sound, and Adora’s heart stuttered when a pink tongue darted out to moisten the objects of her focus. What would it be like to kiss Catra now, no threat hanging above them, no enemy to defeat, no possibility of death waiting right around the corner? What would it be like to kiss Catra with nothing before them but the bliss and peace of a future where they got to choose what happened next?

Adora would have liked to know, and was planning on becoming intimately aquatinted with the experience, when a “Wildcat! Hi!” came thundering up the hallway and Scorpia—arm in arm with Perfuma, wasn’t _that_ interesting—ushered them through the grand doorway and into the deafening crowd.

The blonde, eyes still darting about for Catra, smiled at the assembly around her. She had to hand it to the staff at Bright Moon’s castle: they really knew how to throw a party together on short notice. The smoke hadn’t even cleared the battlefield before everyone—members of the Rebellion, former Horde soldiers, regular Etherian citizens called to action by Bow’s impromptu speech—paraded in the front doors of the castle, still clad in whatever armor had been tossed on and still covered in the stains of the final battle. They were all exhausted and dirty and spent, but they had won. Prime was gone, magic was freed, and after more than a thousand years the planet could finally breathe.

And so, this is where Adora found herself, buffeted by a sea of joyful people kissing and embracing and crying and singing, searching for and finally spotting the one person who made her extraordinarily happy. Catra was tucked in a distant corner, away from the louder revelers, quietly sipping from a glass in the safe shadow of a tall pillar. Her tail was curled tightly around her waist and her arms were crossed, but her ears were pert as she scanned the crowds, seemingly content to just watch. Adora watched as she smiled tentatively at Lonnie as the woman passed, chuckling when surprise flashed across the feline’s face as their former comrade waved.

There was no way Catra didn’t hear or see Adora as she made her way through the crowd, but she still allowed the blonde to creep up behind her and snake her arms around the brunette’s waist before, “hey, Adora.” The taller woman laid her chin on the shorter’s shoulder. “Having fun?”

Adora smiled, turning her face to press a kiss along Catra’s neck. “Want to get out of here?” she whispered into the fur beneath her lips, noting how the other woman’s eyes closed briefly.

Her voice, however, betrayed no such weakness. “Won’t Sparkles have a conniption if you play hooky?”

Adora snorted. “Nah. Have you seen her recently?” She nodded in the queen’s direction, and the two watched for a moment as Glimmer and Bow swayed on the dance floor, completely off beat with the music and clearly not giving a single damn about it, content to be lost in the other’s eyes. Catra shook in her arms with silent laughter.

"Oh they won’t be missing us for a while. Yeah, I’m game.” She turned in Adora’s embrace, smiling up at her. The blonde’s breath caught in her throat at the expression in the mismatched eyes. “Have something in mind, princess?”

 _Gulp._ “Y-yeah, actually. Might have had an idea for some time.”

And there was that giggle again, high-pitched and squeaky, shooting straight through Adora’s already bursting heart. _I will do anything to hear you laugh like that every day._ “Aw, Adora, you’ve been thinking about me? How embarrassing for you!” Her laughs reverberated up the hallways as the taller woman pulled them through the near-empty castle, morphing into muffled snorts whenever they ducked into alcoves to avoid bumping into wandering partygoers.

“I don’t want to talk to anyone else!” Adora huffed, rolling her eyes when her protest only made Catra wheeze harder. “We’ve just got to get to my room and then we’re home free.” Light nails skirted the bottom of her shirt, just barely kissing her skin, and Adora almost collapsed against the wall.

“Hmm, so you can’t wait to get me to your room?” The Magicat’s voice was silk against her ear, and if Adora hadn’t seen the shadows of people approaching, she would have slammed the other woman against the wall she was currently slipping down and shown her just exactly what that voice did to her. But they did happen to be in a very public location, and if the shuffling of feet accompanying the shadows gave any indication of how soon they would be discovered, Adora didn’t have nearly enough time to devote to this endeavor as would be ideal. So with a groan, she dragged the brunette down another hallway and up a narrow corridor until they finally, _finally,_ made it to the peace and quiet of her room.

Except it _wasn’t_ quiet, not at all! The music still streamed through the open windows, brash and disruptive, accompanied by staccato beats of raucous laughter and— _fuck, is it just humanly impossible for Sea Hawk to_ not _sing shanties at every given opportunity?!_ It was far too loud, the noise pressing into her senses until she felt suffocated by the closeness. Huffing, Adora turned to frown at Catra, who returned the look with a sheepish grin that did nothing to help the frantic pulse thundering in the blonde’s head. This was the first time they were alone since the Heart, and the kiss…

“ADVENTURE _!”_ _Oh for the love—!_ Okay, so no, they weren’t alone, not with the yelling and the singing and the _fucking Sea Hawk_ still within earshot. Blue eyes quickly took stock of the room she hadn’t had the confidence to call her own until she had someone to share it with. _Hopefully. If that’s what Catra wants._ Pale hands grabbed the blanket off her bed, rolling and stuffing it under her arm before grabbing a single darker one.

“Adora! Now where are you taking me?” Catra teased, smiling from ear to ear as the two women spilled gracelessly to the hall. Adora turned to beam over her shoulder, but her lips had barely begun to stretch when she spotted two stragglers turning the corner, Plumerians by the look of them. They made eye contact with the blonde the instant she did, and as one their hands flew to their faces in shock.

“It’s the She-Ra!”

“The _mighty She-Ra!”_

Their combined voices, shrill and grating, somehow managed to pierce above the noise of the thunderous music, and for a panicked moment, Adora thought they would be discovered and any hopes of getting Catra truly alone would be dashed on the waves of their onslaught devotion. But then the stragglers caught sight of the Magicat and, impossibly, their screams grew louder.

“It’s YOU! The lover of the She-Ra!”

“The Brave Defector! You gave us back our queen!”

“You spat in the face of the Many-Eyed Invader!” The more inebriated of the two, flower-covered arm draped over her partner’s equally botanical shoulders, twisted to shout behind them. “Friends! _Friends_ , hurry! We’ve found them!”

Okay, they really had to get out of there _now._ Adora shoved the blanket further into her armpit and started to tug on Catra’s hand but was stopped by the look on the feline’s face. It was flushed, fully red from hairline to chin and bleeding into the tips of her ears, but the mismatched eyes were wide, almost glassy with wonder. Adora squeezed her fingers and the spell was broken. With a start, the brunette broke into a run, tail balanced at full tilt as she dragged the blonde away from the cacophony of cheers echoing on their heels.

“Adora!” Catra yelled, tossing a frantic grin over her shoulder. “Adora this is my first time in this castle! _I don’t know where I’m going!”_

Adora could barely run for the laughter bubbling out of her. “You’re…you’re doing great,” she panted. “Take, take this—shit, no, no dammit, _this_ door! This looks right!”

“How do…how do _you_ not know where to go?!”

“Shut up! Glim… _ugh_ Glimmer would just… _poof_ _us places!”_

“Seriously?! No wonder you’re so slow!”

Adora thought her chest was going to burst, from either joy or lack of oxygen she couldn’t tell which, by the time they tumbled out the front gates of the castle, falling over her knees as she struggled to catch her breath around the lingering chuckles. As she watched, Catra leaned back, tipping her head against the wall as a couple tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. _She still hasn’t let go of my hand_ , Adora realized. _What’s wrong with me? Why is my heart beating so fast?_ Its thrumming only got worse when the feline pushed forward, free hand laid to rest on a saucily popped hip, tail twitching playfully, lips moving but no noise reaching her ears.

“Adora?”

The blonde could feel her face getting hotter the longer Catra smirked at her. “Y-yeah?” She stuttered, blush only deepening when she heard herself falter. Belatedly, she realized she might look a little less ridiculous straightened out, and so did, never removing her eyes from the Magicat’s face. It softened, transforming as a gentle beam crossed it, one reflected in the soft caress of her hand in Adora’s hair. She brushed a golden lock shaken loose during their sprint, tucking it behind the taller woman’s ear, fingertips retreating down a reddened cheek.

“I said, what next?”

What next, indeed. _Would forever be enough for you?_ Adora gulped at the thought, rapidly blinking it away. Wordlessly, she guided the other woman down the steps of the palace and over the once immaculate grounds that spread before it. Much of the decorative flowers and bushes had been destroyed, trampled or ripped up by Prime’s invading forces. But what remained was wild with color—no doubt thanks to Perfuma—and served a vibrant, meandering guide to the blonde’s main focus: a small, raised clearing just inside the denser part of the Whispering Woods. It was close enough that the castle was still visible, but far enough away that the noise and lights had finally died away, isolating them with none but the stars and moons to witness them. Adora unfolded the blanket crumpled under her arm, shaking out the wrinkles and placing it under her favorite tree. She knelt on it to smooth out some of the more persistent folds and was suddenly lost in memories, reminded of the many times she had come out here before to seek solace in solitude.

The first time she had come out here was right after Angella died. Glimmer was inconsolable with grief, refusing to leave her room and refusing to let anyone enter. Bow had bloodied his knuckles banging on her door, voice harsh from endless begging to please, _please Glimmer let me in_ , but nothing could be helped. When Adora left the castle the first time since it happened, she found the young man asleep, curled up outside of the new queen’s door. With a jolt, she recognized the bright blue cloak draped over his shoulders, and she couldn’t get away fast enough. Her eyes burned as she raced away, as far away as possible, until her legs gave out somewhere in the crowded trees in the Whispering Woods. She ground her palms into her eyelids. _No, don’t you dare cry! You don’t deserve to cry! It’s_ your _fault!_ The voice in her head screamed, and she couldn’t discern who it belonged to. Herself? Shadow Weaver?...Glimmer? You _should be the dead one! Glimmer would be happy; she would still have her mother!_ She had to keep moving. Keep moving, and maybe it will go away. Every inch of her protesting, she stood, not running so much as stumbling in no purposeful direction, just anywhere to get the voice to stop.

Adora hadn’t gone very far when she tripped over a root and fell, hard, into the ground. Gods, but it hurt. _She_ hurt, every inch of her body and soul, and it was all too much, and she wept. Hot, fat tears spilled and mingled with the dirt beneath her cheek, smearing into mud across her face until she couldn’t tell where she ended and the ground began. _Open up_ , she begged. _Take me instead._ But the earth was cold and harsh, and despite her pleas and sobs, she remained where she was, broken and ashamed. One hand curled into her chest, gripping onto the front of her shirt, as if she could keep the splintered fragments of her heart close enough to stitch them back together. The other splayed out in front, flexing and unflexing against some knobby, rigid surface that she clung to like a lifeline. By the time she calmed down, wrenching cries now softened to infrequent hiccups, she and this object were intimately acquainted, friends one might say. It was the root that had caused her fall, connected to the oldest, most gnarled tree Adora had ever seen in the forest. _It kind of looks like Razz._ She chuckled at the sudden thought, but it gave her comfort. As weird and unhinged as the elderly woman was, her presence gave Adora some kind of disquieted peace, and she felt similar stirrings the longer she gazed at this tree. It felt natural to draw herself up, to turn, to press her back against its wide expanse.

That night marked the first of many occasions Adora would slip away from Glimmer and Bow, usually with a blanket and sometimes a snack pilfered from the Bright Moon kitchens, to lay in the tree’s embrace and think. The excursions only grew more frequent the closer the new queen got to Shadow Weaver. It really wasn’t that far from the castle—an alarm could reach her if need be—but removed enough that she knew she wouldn’t be disturbed. Her mind, more often than not, turned to Angella’s last words. _Take care of each other_. That’s all she ever wanted to do, didn’t the former queen understand that? Did she understand how _difficult_ it was to care for her daughter? Glimmer could be so frustrating! Why didn’t she just fucking _listen_ to Adora, for once in her life?! The sorceress couldn’t be trusted. She was evil and cruel and corrupted everything she touched. _Why can’t everyone just_ stop _and let me_ fix _everything?!_

_Why couldn't_ you _just let me help? Why won't you ever listen to me?_ Her thoughts would drift, angry and restless, to another, someone with a bewitching smile and mismatched, jewel bright eyes, someone who’s laughter still echoed in Adora’s ears when she would wake, gasping, from dreams that left her body trembling and the space between her thighs wet. _Take care of each other._ Adora would take her right hand into her left, thumbing hard into her knuckles like the punch to the Magicat’s jaw had happened only seconds before. _Am I still capable of caring for Catra, after all this? I’m doing a bang-up job with Glimmer._ Blue eyes closed, brows furrowing to meet above them. Adora didn’t blame anyone but herself for Angella’s fate. Catra…Catra made some galactically _stupid_ decisions, but even she couldn’t have foreseen the consequences. She knew the brunette well enough that, when it came to emotions, Catra acted first, asked questions later. A tiny smile stretched the blonde’s lips as she traced three faint scars along her jaw, a souvenir from their shared youth. Yes, she was well acquainted with the feline’s volatile passions. But was Adora enough, could Adora _be_ enough for Catra, if she had never been before? How many times had she offered her love and forgiveness and acceptance, and how many times had it been thrown back into her face? They were questions she asked the tree hundreds, maybe thousands of times, and she always got the same answer: silence.

But now, back in the present, Adora sat on the blanket and looked up, taking in the Catra before her—older, softer, her hair short and her face open, and finally found the answer. _Yes._ It gave her the courage that escaped her before to spread her arms in welcome and to accept the warm body that folded itself into her, with an ear flicking against her chin and a tail wrapping around her calf. _Yes._ How strange it was to be nervous. Didn’t she love Catra? Hadn’t she loved Catra every moment of her life, from this very second all the way back to the very beginning? _Yes._ Adora was but a gap-toothed toddler, all lisp and chubby limbs, when she followed the foreign rumbling to a pile of cardboard boxes and pried them open until she found the source, a tufty mound of fur accompanied by a thrashing tail. In that moment, with all the promise and determination of a child still innocent of the affliction of growing up, she claimed Catra as her own, and herself as Catra’s. _Yes._ Yes, Adora was enough, in simply _being_ Adora. Not She-Ra, not the warrior princess or the force captain or the rebellion soldier, but as herself. To stand by Catra and hold her hand and tell her too “You are enough for me, you always have been” and face whatever the future had to give them, together, as equals, she could be enough.

Adora felt the bark pressing into her back, as rough as it had always been. But the figure in her arms was new, and even in her most indulgent daydreams, she couldn’t have imagined it feeling so right. Like every moment of their lives, together and apart, all the screams and broken promises and cold nights spent in solitude were all to build up to where they were right now, a blonde sitting against a tree, a brunette reclining between her knees, both faces upturned to watch the dance of the heavens above them. She sighed, content.

Well, _almost_ content. The moment _should_ have been peaceful. Even at her most distraught and confused, the nights Adora spent under the tree staring at the moons typically ended with a kind of compromise between all the opposing thoughts making war in her brain. She would stand, brush the dirt off her jacket, and make her way back to the castle, her sense of self calmed and her purpose resolved. She couldn’t call it happiness—she had bid farewell to that particular sensation the second Catra opened the portal—but becoming reacquainted with her role in this bigger picture gave her a dignity and weight that she clung to in the turbulent days that followed.

All of that was behind Adora, behind the both of them, now. So why, on the gods’ green earth, did she expect the same outcome when the variables she implemented were wildly different from previous encounters? How could she feel calm when Catra laid in her arms, the Magicat’s back pressed against her chest and her short-haired head tipped against her shoulder? What place did peace have in her heart when she could feel the brunette breathing against her, could hear the soft noises of awe trickling from a mouth Adora still tasted in her dreams? When would serenity (Perfuma’s third favorite word, after “harmony” and “friendship” Adora recalled with an unhinged giggle) surface and settle the frenzied pace of her heart as the feline traced the tips of her fingers along the blonde’s thighs? Where did the barest shred of her composure go when the delicate curve of Catra’s breasts made contact with Adora’s bicep and nearly made her rip her own skin off she wanted to feel them again so desperately? Why, _why_ would she ever desire the cool stillness of contentment when she could be set on fire, her body igniting like tinder under the blaze of Catra’s lips and hands and body?

“Adora?” The three-syllable aria pierced her frantic haze. “I can hear your heart.” Catra pulled herself up and away from the blonde— _no, no please, come back, whatever it is I did to make you leave, I won’t do it again, I swear—_ twisting at the waist to look her full in the face. Eyelids were lowered over blue and gold eyes, but the effect did nothing to dampen their power. Adora swore they glowed in the starlight, as if by staring up into the swirling galaxies, Catra harnessed their gravity to unleash it upon the woman before her and capture the princess in their orbit. It was a descent Adora willingly, happily submitted to. “Why is it beating so fast?”

Adora’s mouth opened…and closed. She swallowed, and still Catra did not blink, did not release her. “I…I love you.” The Magicat smiled, and _gods_ that only meant that the blonde fell faster. “I want to…I want to do…things…right this time.” The mismatched orbs blinked slowly and Adora used the distraction to look down, moving to take both of Catra’s hands in her own. She stared at sight, thumbs gently brushing the silky fur as she chose her next words. “I’ve been thinking about our, uh…our last night… _together_ …in the Horde. About everything that happened, and everything that went wrong. You ran away, and I don’t know what I did wrong…but I know _you_ and I know you run away when you’re scared.” Clawed fingers squeezed her own, and Adora found her voice growing stronger. “You asked me so many times what I want, and I want you, to feel safe and secure with me, to never question that I love you, every part of you, even the parts you hate or are afraid of or are ashamed of.” She looked around at the clearing encasing them before returning her sight to her lap. “It’s why I brought you here. To show you. You can be yourself and I will love every single moment. I’ve…I’ve only ever wanted you, Catra.”

The feline moved, disentangling her hands as she backed away. Adora’s heart dropped, cold and heavy like a stone, settling somewhere deep in her core where it slowly began freezing her from the inside out. _Too much. I’m too much. It was never that I wasn’t enough. I was always too much._ But with a start she felt two palms on her knees, pushing her legs down and together so a lithe body could climb over them. Two long, toned thighs entered her field of vision as Catra climbed into her lap, and Adora followed them up. There was a waist, molded by tight, muscular curves she longed to map with her palms. Above it perched two small, round breasts, cleavage just barely flirting out the window cut in the maroon and black top. Adora’s eyes almost stopped there, tongue darting out to wet her dry lips. She knew what it was like to run her tongue in that valley, to crest her mouth over twin mounds and take their dark peaks between her teeth. She knew how Catra sounded when she sucked on her nipples, and the familiarity drove her wild with want to hear it again. When she finally broke away and continued north, there were two arms wrapped around her shoulders, and then oh, _oh_ there was Catra’s face. It was so very close to Adora’s. There were her lips, full and rich with color. There was her nose, and the blonde lost count over the years how many times she was amazed at the various ways it would wrinkle in disgust or delight. There were her freckles, dusted across her cheeks like the stars scattered above them. The First Ones had given names and stories to these constellations. Adora wanted to bestow the same to the designs scattered on the smaller woman’s face, given permission and enough time.

And then there were Catra’s eyes, one as blue as a peerless Bright Moon morning clear of any clouds, the other gold like the most precious metal Adora could covet, hands trembling to behold its splendor. Her whole body shook under the Magicat, her head tipped back as Catra held herself above the blonde, split gaze seizing her and keeping her close. One arm withdrew itself from her shoulders, and Adora started when a velvety palm ghosted over her cheek. A clawed finger traced her lips, depressing gently on the fuller bottom as Catra opened her mouth.

“I want you to touch me.”

Adora’s hands, listless at her sides, spasmed into the dirt at the familiar words. _Do you remember? Do you think of it too?_ If the look on the Magicat’s face didn’t confirm her suspicious, her next words did. “I want you to kiss me.”

Another try. A second chance. Their first time stalked Adora’s dreams, perverting them into nightmares where Catra’s ecstatic moans twisted into hysterical cries, screams of _what did I do to you?!_ and _don’t go, please don’t leave!_ bodily dragging her into consciousness, where she surfaced gasping and drenched in a cold sweat. It bled into her waking moments too, when she was alone at night and her brain wouldn’t silence and the ache between her legs wouldn’t be ignored again. She’d slip her hands beneath the waistband of her sleep shorts, cheeks burning when her fingertips encountered wetness, working herself to a climax that fell flat when measured against the source material. But sometimes, her imagination ran away from her, taking shape like one of Light Hope’s simulations, presenting a Catra that didn’t run away, a Catra that smiled and blushed and whispered “I love you” against her skin high in the Fright Zone. Those nights, Adora would fall asleep with tears staining her pillow, wishing she could make it real.

And now it was. The Catra before her was so much stronger than the Catra in her memories, open and vulnerable in ways she could never have hoped for. Adora was different too. They had torn themselves from one another in their youth, angry and frightened, clashing at every turn as they struggled to understand the stranger with whom they had grown up. Now, so many years later, they could return to where they began, scarred and softer and wiser, eyes unclouded, and know this person again. 

Voice heavy with emotion, Adora spoke. “Where do you want me to kiss you?” Her lips pursed as the final word left, and Catra’s finger slipped inside her mouth. The mismatched eyes widened, darkened, fluttered shut when Adora’s tongue swirled around the digit. But then she sucked on it, and Catra moaned, grinding her hips into the blonde’s lap, and Adora couldn’t spend another second not touching the woman above her. Her hands moved of their own accord. The right shot to the legs straddling her, nails lightly dragging over the flesh teasing out between her shorts and thigh highs. The left took hold of the hand at her face, gripping into the palm to anchor it in place as she drew the finger in deeper.

“Ah! Adora!” Catra’s beautiful eyes opened again, and the blonde was struck dumb by the glorious sight before her. Words never stood a chance, even if her mouth hadn’t been occupied; how could they hope to succeed, these sounds bestowed with form and meaning by beings more intelligent than she from time immemorial? There’s no conceivable way they predicted their invention would be used for this purpose, for a woman in love, gazing upon the object of her affections backlit by twinkling stars and swirling galaxies. Adora forsake all further attempts at speech and decided that there was only one course of action foreseeable for her lips. She pulled back, releasing Catra’s fingers. The Magicat whined, distressed, but then Adora strained forward, parted lips meeting open mouth, and the noises that followed most certainly didn’t sound like those of protest to her ears.

Their kiss in the Heart was magical, literally. It brought Adora back from the brink of death, resurrected She-Ra, and saved the planet. But surely something had to be said for second kisses, third kisses? Kisses where they weren’t bleeding and injured, shaking with pain yet numb with the sudden joy of a long-held confession expressed. Kisses where they didn’t have to worry about being discovered, judged, punished for loving and wanting one another. Kisses where the only thought plaguing Adora’s mind was _Catra, Catra, Catra!_

The feline’s lips were upon her, the sandpaper tongue darting in to tease against her own, and _gods_ it was better than breathing. Both of Adora’s hands slipped into Catra’s hair, fingers twisting in the short brown locks, securing their faces together. Never one to back down from a fight, the Magicat responded in kind, drawing Adora’s bottom lip between her teeth and biting down on the giving flesh. They were just sharp enough to hurt, dancing along the line of stimulation and pain. Adora felt Catra smile as a moan she was too distracted to control tumbled out of her mouth, swallowed with glee by the other woman. _Oh, you’re on._

Determined to wipe that smug look from Catra’s face, Adora dragged her fingers down the feline’s neck, digging her blunt nails through the changing landscape from silky hair to downy fur. She continued as the brunette arched her back, releasing her lip to pant against her skin. “Mmm,” Catra whimpered, hips rolling once again in Adora’s lap, tail curling and uncurling in the blanket beneath them. _Patience._ She would get to that soon, but right now? Adora wanted to savor Catra, _cherish_ her, worship every inch of her body she could claim with her lips and hands. Only when Adora was complete, when she memorized each dip, each curve, and memorized those memories, until her very soul was colored in Catra’s hues and they could never be parted again, would she release her.

Adora’s hands progressed further, palms sketching along the panes of the Magicat’s back while her mouth continued to move against Catra’s. Their lips slotted together, heads canted to deepen the kiss, and the music their indistinguishable moans created shot straight to the heat between Adora’s legs. Her fingers brushed up against the back seam of Catra’s shirt and they both stilled, mouths slowing and breaking apart as the blonde toyed with the zipper. There was a strange buzzing in her ears, so distracting she almost missed what the feline said when she pressed their foreheads together. Almost. “Take it off.” Catra’s voice was husky, her palm warm as she reached behind her to take Adora’s wrist in her grasp and guide it down her back, ears canted down. “I want you to see me. I’m not…I’m not afraid anymore.” The sound of the zipper coming undone was deafening, but the blonde didn’t have time to consider it. Because the shirt was slipping off Catra’s shoulders, and now it was off, and now it was on the ground, and dreams had not done the woman in her arms justice.

Adora’s hands shook as she slowly placed them against Catra’s body, palms hovering for just a heartbeat before placing them gently along the feline’s ribcage. There was no way this incredible creature before her was real, was _hers._ The moonlight pouring over the Magicat turned her orange-brown fur ethereal shades of blue and purple so that she blended into the galaxies bracketing her form. The gentler luminescence from the stars danced over the planes of her collarbones and shoulders, and Adora’s mouth watered at the sight. What would starlight taste of, drunk off her lover’s skin?

“Catra.” Her voice was a sigh as she inched her hands north, first fingertips and now palms cupping the smaller woman’s breasts. Her thumbs brushed against the velvety softness of Catra’s nipples, the chestnut skin instantly pebbling as the Magicat arched into her touch. “Catra, you’re so beautiful.” Adora’s breath caught in her throat as her jacket was slid off her shoulders. The light in the mismatched jewel eyes peering at her was enthralling, a siren’s call to the blonde’s heart, and she was drowning in it, suffocating in Catra. What a marvelous way to die.

“Let me see you. Let me touch you, too.” Catra’s canines caught her bottom lip, and Adora was suddenly awash with jealousy. For Catra’s teeth, to be biting that full, delicious pout. For Catra’s lip, to feel the sting of those dangerous fangs. She wanted to both claim and be claimed, and with a flash jacket, shirt, and bra were in the dirt, and Catra’s mouth was on hers. They were far less elegant now, teeth knocking together, tongues slipping with unwieldy passion, but if the feline’s chorus of “Adora! _Adora!_ ” were any indication, she didn’t mind the artlessness of the whole affair.

Indeed, it really seemed, to Adora at least—not that she was particularly experienced in anyone _but_ Catra—that the brunette was very much enjoying herself. Her hips rocked into Adora’s abdomen, grinding the meeting between her thighs against the blonde’s chiseled core. The whines pouring from her lips increased steadily in pitch, sounding more undone with each thrust. Adora snaked her mouth down, over Catra’s jaw and across her positively fatal collarbones, lingering to suck and bite in the hollow beneath each of them. Catra’s hands, currently busying themselves in becoming reacquainted with Adora’s biceps, flew to her hair, claws digging possessively in the golden locks. Moaning at the rough treatment, the blonde slid further down until she was eye to eye with a pert, flushed nipple. Mouth watering, her tongue darted out to moisten her lips, and inadvertently made contact with the peak. Catra’s responding thrust nearly dislodged her from Adora’s lap as she bent backwards, _shoving_ her clothed pussy into the taller woman, tail wrapping around her waist. She would have fallen over, if Adora’s strong arms hadn’t caught her in the action, supporting her as she arched her chest into her lover’s mouth.

“ _Gods,_ your…your tongue!” She groaned, spine still curved in an admittedly impressive stretch. Adora hummed around her mouthful, swirling the muscle around the pebbled skin; it didn’t seem like Catra really cared to hold her own weight at this very moment, and Adora didn’t really care either. She loved this. It thrilled her, to drive the feline to such a high that she abandoned her body, preferring to leave it suspended under Adora’s caress. 

Digging her fingers in the Magicat’s back, she doubled her focus, flicking her tongue across Catra’s tit, over and over and over again, as the woman screamed above her. “Adora! Adora, please!” The hips in her lap were frantic now, but the blonde wasn’t done yet. Very, very delicately, she widened her mouth and pulled the nipple between her teeth. The hands in her hair spasmed. And then Adora bit down, applying pressure just as her tongue renewed its assault and one hand removed itself from Catra’s back to squeeze the unattended breast. A growl that could only be described as _feral_ ripped from the feline’s throat, and the second Adora’s mouth released her nipple Catra pounced, shoving herself off of Adora and fisting her hands in the waistband of the blonde’s pants.

“My turn, princess.” A predatory leer stretched over her face, and before Adora could blink, the brunette _yanked_ and both bottoms and underwear were dangling around her ankles. Just as frantic, she scooted down, away from the tree so she was lying on her back, kicking off the obstructive fabric as she made her way down. Panting, she looked up, propping herself up on her elbows to gaze at the feline. Catra was kneeling at her feet, eyes with single-minded focus narrowed on the wetness between the blonde’s legs. Leaning forward, the Magicat crept closer on her hands and reached out one steady finger to slowly draw it along the folds of Adora’s labia. The noise that exploded from her mouth should have been embarrassing, but the taller woman didn’t have a lot of brain power left to devote to thinking about anything but how incredible that single touch felt throughout every inch of her body.

Catra brought the finger to her eye level, twisting and turning it, watching as it glistened in the moonlight. She turned her split eyes to the blue pools gazing up at her, wonder reflecting between the two. “You’re so wet…and I did this to you.” She looked at her finger in, as if she was considering it, considering what to do next, and with a wink the digit disappeared between her lips. Even the Crimson Waste hadn’t been as dry as Adora’s mouth currently was. Her heart stopped as she watched the feline suck on her wetness, jumping at the sudden _pop_ as she opened her mouth again, grinning at the dumbfounded expression on Adora’s face. “You taste marvelous.” She leaned down, pressing her stomach to the blanket and bringing her face dangerously close to the apex of the blonde’s thighs. The sight of Catra between her legs, breath hot on her pussy and eyes dark with lust, started Adora’s heart to race, frantic, as if it could catch up to the beats it had missed while it was still. “May I try you again?”

It took Adora a split second to realize Catra was waiting for an answer and she blushed, embarrassed. The Magicat’s smile softened at the sight, and she planted a sweet kiss along one of the blonde’s muscular thighs, mismatched eyes never leaving blue. _I love you_ , it said. _I’ll take care of you._ Adora took two deep breaths, vainly attempting to regain control over a body that was disintegrating under the touch of her lover, and nodded. The mouth hovering over her core smiled, and descended, and Adora was lost.

With the first sweep of the brunette’s tongue, Adora’s elbows gave way and she collapsed against the blanket. The second brush brought both of Catra’s arms to wrap around her quivering legs, nails latching just deep enough to make the blonde gasp. A very wet “sorry” mumbled into her labia coupled with the claws releasing her flesh brought Adora topside again.

“N-no, please. Catra. D-do that again.” Her voice never sounded so desperate in her ears. “With you nails. P-please.” 

The feline’s tail thrashed about as she met Adora’s pussy again, third, fourth, and fifth flicks in tandem with the slow drag of her claws along the blonde’s thighs. She started at the top, where the flesh was its softest and most pliable, leaving behind evidence of her love that Adora prayed would be visible the next day. Even if she would be the only one to see them, to feel them burn whenever her clothing brushed them, the thought still thrilled her. It was Catra’s private claim to Adora. _You’re mine_ , the redness pulsed. _And I’m yours,_ the tongue dancing on her clit responded. Each mark upon her skin, each bite, each scratch—if only she could give them voice, to scream to the world that she loved Catra and Catra loved her back, look, don’t you see?

By now, Adora lost count at how many times Catra’s tongue made contact with her most intimate parts. She was lost, all thought of self and body coalesced to the throbbing between her legs and a very capable mouth that made the ache simultaneously the sweetest distraction and the most agonizing pleasure. Adora was gone; all that remained was _need,_ hot and pure and powerful and “C-Catra! Oh…oh gods!” She bit her lower lip and planted her feet into the blanket, lifting her lower half up to grant the Magicat deeper access to her cunt. An excited purr expressed itself between her legs, and then that incredible tongue was inside her, curling and thrashing in her heat. Lights flashed at the corners of Adora’s eyes; was there something wrong with the sky? Or…no…it was Catra, the tempest of her lovemaking giving Adora wings, bringing her to soar among stars.

Lips sucking on her clit sent Adora crashing back to her body. _Gods_ , she was getting so close, but it was too much, there was too much happening. Her hands, rutting in the dirt and grass, launched themselves into Catra’s hair, bringing her pussy even closer as she ground her hips into her lover’s face. The feline’s claws made their path down her thighs again, slower and deeper than before, and the blonde screamed. Her whole body shivered, back twisting as Catra moaned into her, the sound a hybrid of a purr and a growl. The dichotomy of _too much_ and _not enough_ was driving Adora mad and she could feel tears prick at the corners of her eyes. She would break, was currently breaking, fracturing, a million hairline cracks spiderwebbing over her abdomen and snaking up her chest, spreading their frailty into her skull and down to her toes flexing against the blanket. She was covered. All it would take was one single, effortless touch, and she would be gone.

Turns out, it took a little more than that to bring Adora to her ruin. It was two hands prying apart her legs to reach the softest flesh of her thighs. It was ten fingertips, nails delicately extended, drawing down her tender skin with a ferocity that would have drawn blood and a control that ensured not a drop was spilt. It was a tongue, expertly dancing between two plush lips, pressing and circling around her desperate clit. And it was a pair of mismatched eyes, dark with lust, peering up between her legs, boring into her as Adora felt the pieces of herself splinter, piece by piece breaking off until, with a final suck of that magnificent mouth and a last “ _Catra!_ ” she shattered.

Stars. There were stars inside her. Whole galaxies birthing forth before exploding into nothingness before being reformed all over again. She was a kaleidoscope of nebulae and constellations and comets searing over her flesh, forming her anew in a rainbow of brilliant, flashing lights. Was this how the gods felt, when they created it all, when they shaped the cosmos and breathed into it life? She tasted divinity upon her tongue. Adora raised a shaking hand to her lips, surprised that she still possessed both. Grinning, she lifted her head to peer at the woman between her legs.

Catra lay upon her abdomen, cheek pressed against her stomach as her fingers absentmindedly stroked her thigh. She was in the process of wiping away most of Adora’s wetness when she became aware she was being watched. Blue and gold eyes scanned her face before the blonde’s smile was returned. “Hey Adora,” she crooned, licking the rest of the moisture off her lips. “It looked like you left me there, for a second. You back?”

Adora nodded, arching her back as the last vestiges of her orgasm echoed faintly through her muscles. “That was incredible, Catra. Thank you.” Her hands went out to stroke the short brown locks tickling her belly. She passed her palms over them once, twice, before turning her attention to the available ear. She gently fingered the velvety surface, smile broadening as a gentle rumble escaped the feline’s chest.

Adora was worried about this next part, scared even. Not of Catra, never of her, or of what would happen if (and hopefully when) her shorts and thigh-highs finally joined Adora’s clothes under the tree. She swallowed, weighing out the words she had practiced in her dreams time and time again, never knowing if all that rehearsing would ever be of use. “Can…can I touch you again?” Catra pulled off, propping up on one hand as Adora sat up, mismatched eyes fluttering as the blonde cupped a fuzzy cheek. “Can I take care of you?”

Catra sighed and shut her lids for a moment. Her brow furrowed and she frowned, looking to all the world like she was waging some fierce, internal war. But before Adora’s heartbeat could reach a critical pace, the jewel tones flashed open, and the Magicat nodded. “I told you. I’m not afraid anymore. I won’t…I won’t run. Ever again.”

“You promise?”

Catra scooted forward, lips brushing Adora’s as she whispered the familiar words. “I promise.” And she was kissing the blonde again, and Adora wondered why she was ever anxious in the first place. Her hands lifted to anchor themselves in the feline’s hair, deepening the kiss. Catra’s mouth tipped open, her tongue sliding out to trace along Adora’s, the unfamiliar aftertaste confusing her until the blonde realized what she tasted was _herself_ , still dwelling inside the smaller woman.

With a groan, Adora leaned forward, tipping them both backwards until Catra’s shoulders hit the blanket. She pushed her tongue between the Magicat’s lips, savoring the difference of Catra’s mouth coated with her own want. Two thin, wiry arms encircled Adora, pressed her into the lean body beneath her. Two soft breasts arched into her own, stiff nipples rubbing against her skin, begging for attention. Two taunt thighs wrapped themselves around her waist, the space between them so hot and wet that Adora could feel it through Catra’s clothing. Her own hands went to grip the Magicat’s hips, fingers twisting in the fabric in a silent question.

“Gods, _please._ ” They broke apart, appetites barely staved off long enough for Adora to pull down Catra’s shorts and stockings and for Catra to kick them off, an impatient laugh bubbling over her lips as the feline struggled to get them bunched off her ankles. But finally, she was naked, all gleaming angles and threatening curves, moonlight dappling off her softness and creating patterns Adora couldn’t wait to trace with her lips. _Why wait?_ She thought. Not finding a good enough reason, she didn’t. 

Laying down, supporting most of her weight on her left elbow so she could hover over Catra, Adora took the smaller woman’s body into her embrace, curving her right arm under the fuzzy shoulders. Catra arched into her, bringing two dark nipples just within reach of the blonde’s mouth. Grinning, she parted her lips and let the barest tip of her tongue graze against the straining peak.

Catra trembled, heaving out a frustrated gasp. “Adora!” She admonished.

Adora responded by nosing along the curve of the Magicat’s breast, following the whorls of delicate fur covering her lover’s chest. “Is there a problem?” she murmured, deciding that touch was insufficient and opening her mouth to gently nibble on the warm flesh.

Catra’s hands flew to Adora’s hair, fisting the blonde locks barely contained by her hair tie. Between their foreplay and Catra’s lovemaking, the taller woman’s ponytail was lopsided, halfway down her skull, and skewed to the left. It was a miracle any hair was still in place at all. _Well, it_ was _a miracle_. A second bite—this one closer to an impatient peak—followed by an additional twisting of golden strands, and the band snapped, surrendering in protest to the harsh treatment. Half blinded now, Adora had to rely on other sensations to guide her over this terrain both known and unknown.

 _This scar wasn’t here before,_ Adora thought as her fingers glided over Catra’s back, marveling at the muscles that rippled as the brunette writhed under her. _These marks are new_ , her mind sighed as she palmed the other woman’s abdomen, biting up her chest and over her neck as Catra panted her name into the night sky. _Freckles, so many more freckles_ pounded in her head as she kissed the multitudinous pinpoints sprinkled across the woman’s cheekbones. _This wasn’t here before. I’ve never noticed these. How did this get here? Will she tell me? Gods I want her to tell me everything. I want to tell her everything. I want to give her everything._ Her hand continued exploring, discovering newness alongside the familiar, each encounter making her fall deeper and deeper in love with Catra.

“P-please. _Please_ Adora.” The soft whimpering beneath her brought Adora back to herself, and she peered down at the Magicat in her arms. Catra looked _desperate_ , eyes half-lidded but wild with desire, hands franticly pulling at Adora’s hair and shoulders, hips stuttering up into nothingness. “I need you.”

The one hand mapping the feline’s body suddenly wasn’t enough, wasn’t nearly enough for her. Adora almost tumbled into the blanket as her left arm shot out, wrapping itself under Catra and around her tight waist, squeezing them together while her right traveled, pulled almost like a magnet, like gravity, to the wetness between the brunette’s legs. Her fingers brushed against velvety folds and Catra gasped, thrusting her hips up to meet Adora’s touch. She almost slipped inside at the motion, Catra was so ready for her. She was biting her lips, moaning almost to herself, eyes screwed shut. Adora needed to see those eyes, needed to watch every emotion and wave of pleasure crash through the blue and the gold. Her right hand moved to the fuzzy jaw, grasping it and bringing Catra’s face level with her own.

“Look at me.” Adora’s voice was low and raspy, the barest hint of She-Ra’s commanding boom dancing behind the words. The mismatched eyes flew open at the demand, momentarily out of focus before boring into her own. Gods, how she wanted to drown in them. She pressed a light kiss against the panting lips, never breaking eye contact. She could feel Catra’s heart beating against her chest, her own nipples brushing against the smaller woman’s, hardening again at their proximity. Her fingers left Catra’s chin, pausing briefly to tweak a reddened peak before returning south to sketch over her labia, nails ghosting along her entrance. The Magicat cried at the touch, and her eyes closed briefly, flying open when Adora dug into her back. “Look at me,” she repeated, voice stronger and deeper than before. “Look at me when I make you come.” And with that final word, she moved her fingers, and she was inside Catra.

The sound the feline uttered was positively _lewd_ , her head slamming backwards into the blanket as she jettisoned her hips up, up, up, urging the blonde’s fingers to dive deeper into her core. Her thighs slammed shut around Adora’s hand, furiously anchoring it against herself, but Adora wasn’t having any of that. Catra promised she would let Adora take care of her, and take care of her Adora would. She shoved a knee between the brunette’s legs, driving them apart and anchoring one between her own. The Magicat’s writhing was doing nothing to help her freshly rising libido, but she could ignore it. For now.

Free to do as she wished, Adora began moving her hand, fingers achingly slow as they pushed into and out of Catra’s pussy. Gods but she was so _wet_ already, practically sopping, and she felt her own cunt grow warmer. _She must’ve gotten hot from getting me off_ , and she inched closer, dragging herself closer to the smaller woman. The furry thigh proved fantastic leverage, and Adora rolled her hips to match the rhythm of the feline beneath her, her pointer and middle fingers thrusting in time with the motions. Catra’s eyes were barely open, glazed over with lust as she kept her gaze on the blonde’s face, gasping out her name every time the heel of Adora’s palm hit her clit.

Catra’s hands roved her back, at times a gently caress and at others a violent assault, nails a pinpoint anger to Adora’s shoulders and scapula. Her claws dug into the spaces alongside the blonde’s spine, and Adora was thrown, mind reeling to months so long ago it felt like another lifetime. Catra in her arms, desperate and afraid, clinging to her, nails piercing through her clothes and into her skin so deeply Adora had to throw away that shirt later, blood and tears rendering it beyond repair. Catra, her body still and broken, Adora never so sure of herself as she was in that moment, knowing without a doubt that the magic of She-Ra would revive her one true love. There was never another other path. Adora _had_ to save Catra, Catra _had_ to come back. She couldn’t exist without her, so the very fact that Adora was alive and breathing meant that Catra _had_ to open her eyes, cough, and whisper “hey, Adora.”

Catra’s nails dug deeper into Adora’s back, and the blonde was drawn back to the moment, left hand clutching the Magicat to her body, right hand pumping feverishly between her lover’s thighs. The sound of Adora entering Catra’s pussy harmonized with the exaltations pouring from the feline’s lips, the syllables crashing in time to the women writhing against each other. For the second time that night, Adora felt herself draw closer to the edge of something much greater than herself, and knew that she was bringing Catra right along with her. Something in the brunette’s eyes flickered, coloring the split irises with a possessiveness that caused the breath in Adora’s throat to catch, and then Catra’s right hand was drifting down and around to Adora’s abdomen, and then two fingers, nails retracted, were at Adora’s entrance. And then they were inside her, and Catra’s digits curled against Adora’s walls just as Adora’s thrust into Catra’s cunt, and both women cried out into each other’s shoulders.

“Ca-Catra!” The blonde moaned, lips brushing against the feline’s nipples.

“Adora! Adora you feel so good,” The Magicat cried, left hand twisting in golden locks, anchoring her lover’s head to her breast.

Adora took the motion as invitation, and sucked in earnest, timing the licks of her tongue with the flicks of her fingers. She lifted her hips up off of Catra’s thighs, giving the brunette’s hand more room to stretch and explore, and found herself rewarded, Catra’s fingers driving into her pussy with greater fervor than before. She cried out around her mouthful, her lover’s name muffled, but the woman must have heard her the same. Catra’s thumb now met Adora’s clit, pressing firmly against it as her forefinger and middle plunged inside her.

Competitive aggression welled in Adora’s chest. _You’re turning this into a game, aren’t you?_ She released Catra’s nipple to look her in the eye, and after a beat, Catra smirked and winked. “h-hey, Adora.” Even gasping, words stuttering out breathlessly as she writhed on her fingers, the woman still refused to submit, still dug her heels into the dirt and refused to budge. _No, I won’t be falling first_ , her predator’s teeth glinting in the moonlight seemed to say.

The blonde grinned back, challenge accepted, fresh heat blooming between her legs as the feline’s expression faltered. Adora dove, mouth and teeth latching at the junction of Catra’s neck and shoulder, possessively biting as she plunged three fingers into the smaller woman. Catra screamed, a wild, abandoned noise that coursed directly from the swollen softness pulsing under Adora’s hand.

“ _F-FUCK!_ ” Catra’s fingers inside Adora stilled, pride abandoned as her hips picked up their pace, slamming against the blonde’s palm recklessly. Not that she minded much; as loudly as her libido protested, Adora had to bring Catra to her climax, _needed_ to give it to her first before her own second. _Besides_ , she pondered, right arm now shaking as she struggled to match the feline’s pace, _she’s still inside me. I can_ definitely _work with this._ Catra’s left arm hooked across Adora’s back, her forehead damp with sweat burrowing itself against the taller woman’s muscular shoulder, breath hot and fast along her neck.

“I love you, Catra,” Adora whispered into the Magicat’s ear, biting it when it flicked against her mouth. “Y-you’re _so_ beautiful…I’m…I’m so happy I’m yours.” Her sentiments, while gentle in their intent, sounded rough as she uttered them, words broken and stuttered as she fucked the woman in her arms. Adora felt rather than heard the brunette moan against her skin, her smaller body shuddering. Fresh wetness bathed her fingers, and Adora sensed Catra was close now, so very close. _Muscles don’t fail me now._ Kissing along the long fuzzy neck, she continued her mantra of adoration and praise. “You’re so strong, and…and brave. Even…even when we a-apart, I loved you…w-wanted you.” Catra’s head turned, and mismatched gems met and held ocean pools. “I-I dreamed about this…s-so many times.” The split eyes shifted, latching onto Adora’s lips. She licked them, reveling in the way Catra sighed hungrily at the sight of her tongue. The feline shot forward, hips somehow even faster, more frantic.

“A-Adora!” Her lips pressed against the blonde’s, so very gentle, so very different from the aggression of her lower body. “I’m…I’m!” She flung her head back, eyes blazing into Adora’s, every inch of her body silently begging. Adora was always powerless against Catra. She’d been from the very first moment they met, through all their antagonism and battles, and now, wrapped in one another’s embrace on the other side of a war that almost cost them everything? Adora leaned down to kiss her lover again. She was beyond all hope and reason for this woman.

Adora thrust her fingers once, twice, thrice more into Catra’s pussy, the heel of her hand grinding against her swollen, angry clit, and the brunette came apart. Her cunt pulsed along the blonde’s fingers and her body thrashed in time to the contractions, toes curling into Adora’s legs, left hand gripping into Adora’s shoulder, right hand shuddering between Adora’s thighs. Between the fingers still dwelling in her pussy, and the high that came from pride at bringing Catra to orgasm, Adora found herself close, very close, dangerously close. By the time the lithe form beneath her quivered for the final time, the taller woman’s body had had enough, and she was coming for the second time. Adora moaned into Catra’s shoulder as she rode out the waves, shivering and quaking by the feline’s touch, dimly aware of claws stroking her hair and lips pressing into her forehead as pleasure overtook her limbs.

Adora revived laying heavily atop Catra, hyperventilating as control slowly returned to her body. Blinking slowly, she smiled into the Magicat’s chest. “I’m probably suffocating you, huh?” With a huff she rolled off and onto the blanket, hand dancing out to find Catra’s and entwining the two together. No way was she going to abandon _all_ contact. Although, apparently the Magical didn't want to either, if the tail curling around her calf was any marker.

A squeaky giggle filtered from the woman beside her. “Next time, _I’m_ on top, okay?”

Adora glanced over, full on smirking now. “Oh, there’s going to be a next time, huh?”

Catra groaned, turning her head to roll her eyes in Adora’s face. “Don’t ruin it.” Her voice was warm, as was her hand as she squeezed the blonde’s fingers.

“Let me guess. This isn’t because you like me, hmm?”

“Nope.” A single canine peaked out as the feline smiled. “It’s because I love you.”

Adora released their hands, rolling over to her side and propping herself on her elbow again. She started to blow the hair from her face, but with a chuckle Catra performed it for her, tucking the wayward locks behind her ear. “Well, that’s funny,” the princess murmured. “I love you too.”

Extending her arms, Adora beckoned Catra into her embrace. The brunette laid her head against the blonde’s chest and flung a leg over muscular thighs, curling into the taller woman. Adora sighed, content, her fingers lazily stroking up and down a furry back. As they lay entwined, staring up at the stars, Angella’s words came back to Adora again. _Take care of each other_.

 _I will_. _We will._ Adora vowed, and she wrapped her arms more securely around Catra’s shoulders, eyes drifting shut. The universe was at peace, Adora and Catra were at peace, and their lives together could finally begin. _I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D 
> 
> Yell at me here or come over to tumblr and yell at me there! 
> 
> What's next, none of you are asking? I have an idea for a longer fic, but CLEARLY I am unexperienced in...what would you call it..."outlining" and "planning a story" and "not writing by the seat of your pants." If any of you lovelies are writers and have some advice, ya girl could really use some help figuring out How To Actually Write Stories And Not One-Shots That Keep On Fucking Going

**Author's Note:**

> :D 
> 
> I hope you like it! 
> 
> Take a listen to my Catradora playlist on spotify if you want! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5wGhJLCKlaTGK3UgXkDfaf?si=mu1GKTZwSqmt05zZoV7b8A


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